1999 Archives
One of the few times i get to play, my character got drunk, and met a girl who was also drunk, here's a bit when she found out what happened.
Psykoguy: Ok, well, can I at least drive you home?
GM(As girl): I DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU!!!
GM: She storms out.
Me: Uhh, didn't she forget to get dressed?
GM: Yup.
Psykoguy
- Saturday, December 18, 1999 at 01:59:28 (EST)Is sratching my ass a simple or a complex action?
foxfire
- Saturday, December 18, 1999 at 00:24:10 (EST)Our team was confronted with four orks. It would have been no problem to finish them off, but we - well, most of us - figured it might be smarter not to attract attention.
Tjur, a hulking human adept, grabs Nephele, tiny female mouse shaman by the shoulders and yells:
"Run! I don't know how long I can hold her back!"
Orks look confused, but fail to react.
Gar (human tech) "I draw my gun and fire."
Rest of team: *Groan*
Sgiathach
- Thursday, December 16, 1999 at 14:30:57 (EST)This may be a classic, but I heard it for the first time this week:
Troll: "Ehran, eh? Wields two rapiers? So what, I can toss two motorbikes as well."
Sgiathach
- Thursday, December 16, 1999 at 14:24:25 (EST)Player[OOC], upon the announcement of an encounter:
>>A monster walks into the room and yells "Initiative"<<
Sgiathach
- Thursday, December 16, 1999 at 14:22:55 (EST)that is the last time i buy armor at a swap meet
-dead players famous last words
jed
- Tuesday, December 14, 1999 at 11:32:14 (EST)that is the last time i buy armor at a swap meet
-dead players famous last words
jed
- Tuesday, December 14, 1999 at 11:31:15 (EST)In a somewhat recent adventure, I found out how our teams elven sniper trys to get dates:
Sniper: I drive around, looking for any hot chick.
GM: Ok, there's a human woman.
Sniper(over megaphone to stolen citymaster): Get in the car!
GM(rolls die): She says, "You pig"
Note, a really stupid and ugly dwarf tried this, and it actually worked for him.
Psykoguy
- Saturday, December 11, 1999 at 02:58:46 (EST)DeathBob, an extremely large troll street sam, who was not known for stability, in or out of character, was trying to get the combination to a safe from a hostage corporate exec.
DeathBob: what's the combination?
Exec: I don't know!
DB(OOC): can I barter with the GM?
GM: what do you mean?
DB(OOC): you give me the combination and I won't tell you how I tortured it out of him."
GM: save your intimidation dice for the exec, not me.
DB(OOC): actually, I was wondering how to calculate my sodomy pool.
GM: 43-8-16
DeathBob was never allowed to interrogate anyone again. EVER!
FoxFire
- Wednesday, December 08, 1999 at 23:45:50 (EST)GM: Okay, you kill the security guard and... [rolls] four civilians.
Executioner: Damn! Your body count is ahead of mine!
Deathblow: Well, you're the only one keeping count, so just fudge the numbers.
[later, Executioner had just blasted a large window with a Panther Assualt Cannon. The resulting shrapnel blast was... unpleasant for those inside]
Deathblow, OOC: "The guard dies. Do you really need to roll?"
Executioner, OOC: "I wanna see how many civilians die."
Deathblow
- Monday, December 06, 1999 at 22:48:25 (EST)Deathblow, OOC: "What's the power and damage of a thrown car?"
[We ended up using the rigger crash rules]
Deathblow
- Monday, December 06, 1999 at 22:40:54 (EST)Background: The team (known as Wolf Pac) gets into a bar fight and their main target runs towards the door.
Wind (into headset): Sara, kill the ork.
GM (as Sara, the teams rigger): Got em. Killed em dead.
GM (OCC): You notice that the ork has not gone out the door yet.
Wind: Oh no.
Hawklu
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 07:59:02 (EST)Background: When one of the players nine year old daughter expressed interest in playing ShadowRun with her dad and the rest of the group, I helped her create a fourteen year old girl rigger named Sara since the team was lacking one and would use the
rigger as a NPC when she would not be able to play. I decided that the infamous Stuffer Shack adventure would be a nice way to introduce her to role playing.
GM: The gangers drop their guns and raise their hands into the air as the twin light machine guns raise from the top of the van and point in their direction
Sara: I kill them all dead.
GM (OCC): Umm…they are surrendering.
Sara (OCC): I don’t care.
Hawklu
- Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 07:38:17 (EST)During the same run wich Judas lost his sock (See below)
After running over a LOT of cats..
* Judas pulls off a cat and puts it on his head. "HEY FENIX!" "DAVY CROCKET!"
* Judas dances around.
* FenixHawk doesnt look and steps into the bar
* Judas strolls into the bar with the cat torso on his head.
* Judas looks at the doorman, "Meow."
That "hat" pissed off a mean cat shamsn that intends on hunting him down...
Won't he ever learn? RibOnIzEr
- Friday, November 26, 1999 at 12:12:21 (EST)Once our team was trying to sneak into a building - at night of course. So we had a plan of approaching the building seperately from different sides.
Shannon the Cannon: "I approach from the right side, with my Enfield at the ready."
GM: "As you step out of the car's shadow, you see a human shilouette near the entrance."
Shannon: "Whaa. I shoot him." [rolls]
GM: "Okay. Now one dodge test for RedEye."
Shannon: "Ooops."
RedEye [rolls, takes no damage]: "You bloody son of a-"
RedEye cocks his pumpgun, aims at Shannon's feet:
"Dance!" *blam* *chuck-chuck* "Dance!" *blam* *chuck-chuck* "Dance!"...
I pray you, imagine that scene. Needless to say, that was it with the stealth for the evening...
(btw, shortly thereafter the Merc made the same mistake, firing a round at Phoenix, who then unloaded his SMG clip at him... I can't remember, but I think we did not complete our mission ;)
Sgiathach
- Thursday, November 25, 1999 at 08:07:49 (EST)Judas (the tough-as-nails street samurai) loses his sock at the laundrymat and recieves a mysterious phone call from someone claiming to have it and telling him to meet at a gay troll's club called Mr. Willy's Hot Ass. Judas strolls into the club and
approaches the bartender...
Judas: I'm looking for my fraging sock. What do you know?
GM: "...huh...not much, really."
GM: Judas, a homosapien in a suit approaches you. "Nice sock you got there, shame you don't have a pair." He turns around and walks off.
* Judas gets up and walks over to the guy, tapping on the shoulder.
GM: He turns around, "Yes?"
Judas: "Hey, nice lung you got there."
GM: "Pardon me?"
Judas: "Shame you don't have a pair."
At which point Judas commenced to punch the man's ribcage in above his right lung (cyberarms) and proved himself worthy to the Johnson all at once. The SuperFly
- Thursday, November 25, 1999 at 03:21:26 (EST)Had this one just today... I saw it on this page before but it came up independently.
In this case, the team was trying to find out who lived in a penthouse of a hotel. Question is, how to get in and up there.
PC1: "How about flower delivery?"
PC2: "Delivery to whom?"
PC3: "Umm... Pizza for Jonas Wagner?"
[note: this running gag evolved from a German tv commercial (for British Petrol)]
Sgiathach
- Tuesday, November 23, 1999 at 20:23:49 (EST)And as it happened, we had a Shaman at the time named Shannon The Cannon, whose favourite spell was Control Actions [manip.].
So anytime he wanted to know something from an NPC, it would go:
Shannon: "Now where's the [whatever]"
Hapless: "I don't know"
Shannon[OOC]: "I let him walk into the wall."
Sgiathach
- Tuesday, November 23, 1999 at 20:02:43 (EST)This has made it into a running gag
RedEye, a sammy [and my first SR char], has been handling an ominous wooden box rather carelessly. At some point it dawns on him it contains a bottle of nitro.
RedEye [freezing]: "M-m-my loyal supportes. Go and fetch hither clean underwear. An excremental mishap has occured to me." Sgiathach
- Tuesday, November 23, 1999 at 19:54:14 (EST)While combatting a phys-ad, a series of bad rolls put my team a a servere disadvantage. Marc (the phys-ad) turns to the last concious team member, Kumi (Japanese female combat mage) and starts to stalk towards her.
Kumi; Take one more step and you'll be having a hard time explaining the rash on your ass.
GM (IC) as Marc; What rash on my ass
Kumi; The one I'm going to leave when I pull my foot out too fast.
He hesitated and a few nasty hellblasts later, he regretted it.
Blizzard
- Monday, November 22, 1999 at 00:41:03 (EST)After a long speach by our GM in character as the main bad guy at the end of our run, Kumi (Japanese combat mage who's magic looks like anime) decides to kill all the heat he just spent 5 minutes gathering.
Kumi; How about if I give you a nice big plate full of "My Foot Up Your Ass" and a big steaming glass of "Shut The frag Up" to wash it all down with. Blizzard
- Monday, November 22, 1999 at 00:28:52 (EST)Grooms: This guy's crank-calling the Yakuza!
Babbage: No I'm not!
Hummer: Right, it's the Triad.
Twitch
- Saturday, November 20, 1999 at 01:02:54 (EST)Hummer, on a physical adept: "He's levitating. Cope."
Twitch
- Saturday, November 20, 1999 at 01:01:42 (EST)When the team had absolutely no clue what to do about the run at hand, in the lulltime, one of the charactes, (preacher, a deadlands character transfer, aka. "Godboy") pulled out a bible and started to read it. Grubber, a slowwitted troll, street punk,
broke the ice with this amusing conversation: "'ey! Whatcha readin?" "The good book, the Bible." "Oh! 'ey! I read dat book! Sorta wiz 'ow dat one guy came back at de end! I wasnt expectin dat!" "Yes, well..." "Hey, why did dat one guy turn 'is chummer in, fer all dat cred, an den kill 'imself?! If I got all dat cred fer killin one little guy, I'd be damn 'appy!" "Yes, well, he betrayed his 'chummer' and then felt bad about it." * Grubber gets
offencive. "Is yous sayin Im gay?!?!?!"
BurnEdOut
- Saturday, November 13, 1999 at 03:32:12 (EST)(Wulfgar the Troll viking extroirdinare, just
before bursting through the door of a ganger
hideout) "Valhala awaits! Yyyaaarrrgghhh!"
(Springfield, general gun guy) "I don't wanna'
go to Valhala." Wulfgar
- Friday, November 12, 1999 at 23:12:12 (EST)Our Street Sam (Slugg) was going to a meet on corp gounds, with me (Mage) as backup.
Upon arrival, we were both asked to check our weapons -
Slugg (who made the appointment) hands over for safekeeping a gauntlet of weapons, including an assault-rifle, pistol, grenade launcher, grenades, etcetera etcetera etcetera.
I follow her lead and hand over my one Savolette Guardian, and stun rounds.
Guard: "She has an appointment - who are you?"
Me: "Her bodyguard."
Delphi
- Thursday, November 11, 1999 at 14:11:29 (EST)During a run, we landed in New Orleans, to make a long story short, we ended up eradicating all life in new orleans except for the team. After the GM tells us all of the stuff we got (which is alot, since all BIOLOGICAL things were destroyed)
GM(After a really long list): Oh, and your total of money you find is....3.5 billion nuyen.
Yoi(mage who thinks he is batman): Pleasure overload!!!!!
Psykoguy
- Wednesday, November 10, 1999 at 01:26:19 (EST)We're in DC and have got a couple of safe houses (flats)for a month whilst we plan our run. Bush (see below)decided to kick the cleaning bot on the way out of our flat
Bush " I'm going to kick the cleaning bot"
GM - "Ok lessee *dice are rolled* you kick the cleaning bot really hard and it goes flying into the wall"
Bush - "Cool"
GM - "Suddenly a little arm pops out of it's side *rolls dice* i'd try dodging this *Bush rolls dice* okay you're hit with a taser dart. Before you black out you see the bot right itself and get into the elevator"
The gm moved on to us becasue we left him where he was. Later on Bush wakes up to hear alarm sirens and investigates. In the lobby the residents are being led out by the areas sec guards.
GM (sec guard)- "Exscuse me sir but you have to clear the building right now."
Bush - "Why?"
Gm (walkie talkie on guard) - "How the frag did that thing get automatic weapons,*Gunfire* drek Johnny's down."
Bush - "Oh. I walk out."
Gm - "Don't worry sir we've called in a Knight Errant swat team."
Result One dead swat team and a cleaning bot armed with automatic weapons loose in DC. All because one Troll kicked in (literally) it's survival program.
Predator
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 11:13:05 (EST)Judas (the gang-slaughtering Street Samurai) explaining to Milo (the midget elven Detective/Gigalo/Street Samuari) why he shouldn't break Seefa's (the former corporate companion (read: hoochie) turned shadowrunner)heart.
Judas: "Yeah, I was there for that girl's first kill. She shot that fragin' troll right between the eyes! She's like a sista to me...A sister that let you touch her goodies." The SuperFly
- Monday, November 08, 1999 at 00:56:42 (EST)Situation: PREFECT, a Physad with a LOT of edged weapons, is in a FedEX Office. For reasons beyond the scope of this message, he is apparently very convincing at looking like a ugly piece of modern art.
GM: The guard approaches, and lights a match off his nose.
Other player: Why?
GM: Because he's an asshole. Because his little sister drew on paper with crayons when he was a kid and got all the attention, he's developed a hatred of all high art and is out for revenge. Roll Willpower to avoid flinching.
Ratoslov Lenev
- Friday, November 05, 1999 at 00:03:15 (EST)A dick in the mouth is better than death. Trust me.
[In response to a drawn out argument on how to keep two elves from talking after they
woke up]
Hummer
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 20:40:14 (EST)newie runner Twinky tring to get into a top level security appartment block to try and save the johnson who hired them.
the runners all rush up to the security guard on the door,each playing it cool total pro's
security guard is scared drekless "freeze and loose the weapon "
twinky trying his hardest "which one ?" Chance
- Thursday, November 04, 1999 at 05:33:40 (EST)Shirotachi (Phys-AD): We´re something like allied. Just that he hunts us *smiles* (referring to a DRAGON)
GM shakes his head, stands up and walks out of the room. Silver Snake
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 07:20:17 (EST)GM: So you want to know what it ist that Decker died of? Make a roll of Comp-Theory.....
PC: Can I roll Card-Tricks instead? LOKI [God of Lies]
- Monday, November 01, 1999 at 07:14:39 (EST)During a Harlequin run where the runners are hired to take the 'package' to Bavaria and retrieve the Necronomicon
[Molokai - the Elven Rigger] I open fire on the Baron.
[GM] Ok..... two fire elementals burst out from the fireplace.
[Molokai, now realising he's got a rocket launcher strapped to his back]I follow Pilgrim through the mirror.
[GM] The fire elementals are closing in on you...
[Molokai] I kick in the wires!
[GM] The fire elementals disappear from behind you.
[Molokai] Whew!
[GM] and appear in front of you. Your clothes are on fire.
[Molokai - remembering to stop, drop and roll] Put out the Elf! Put out the Elf! Entrebat
- Friday, October 22, 1999 at 22:00:12 (EDT)During the Harlequin campaign, the characters accepted a job consisting of the killing of an entire elfposer gang and delivering the ears back to Mr. Johnson. Snipe, an elven Street Sam, approuches the front door and Knocks
Snipe: Open up
Guard: Ummm who is this?
Snipe: I am Zeus! The elven supremisis
Guard: who?
The guard opened the door and was shot by a sniper waiting on a nearby rooftop. Marky_McD
- Thursday, October 21, 1999 at 00:22:05 (EDT)After A short fragup involving kidnapping the Oyabun of Seattles daughter
we were captured and interrogated by same said Oyabun.
Oyabun - "Why did you kidnap my daughter?"
Bush (Troll archer) - "It was the mage, he's really an insect shaman"
Doc Doolittle (mage) - "WHAT?"
Bush - "Yeah he took her off on his own. I'd watch her she's starting to buzz!"
A short while later
Bush - "Sod it. wake me up when your done with these lot ZZZZZZZZZZZ"
Oyabun - "I don't think some of you are taking me seriously"
Surprisingly he survived
Predator
- Tuesday, October 19, 1999 at 13:07:16 (EDT)Regarding the lengths we're achieving to counter a recurrent enemy-
DJ (Rigger: "I've forgotten - Why are we rescuing Laughing Water?"
Logos (Decker): "She knows where Yamaya's Earring is."
DJ: "And We're getting that because ?"
Delphi (Me, Mage): "To give to Hougan (Voodoo Priestess) in return for help"
DJ: "And we need her help for ?"
Slugg (Sam): "So we can go after Samedi (The *Villain*)"
DJ: [Pauses about 10 seconds]
"I sure hope this guy *appreciates* how much we *hate* him."
Delphi
- Sunday, October 17, 1999 at 22:36:37 (EDT)During a twisted yet still quite fun game, one of the characters is kidnapped and brought to a small room where he is to be turned into a human guinea pig. Naturally the first thing he does is try one of the two doors...
* Wasp tries to open the door.
GM: It's locked, you hear a goon from the other side "Hehe, it's locked dick head."
Wasp: "Hey...shut up!"
GM: "No, You shut up!!" The SuperFly
- Sunday, October 17, 1999 at 05:14:06 (EDT)During our usual friday campaign, some OOC comments were made concerning online dice.
Charlie`: Sledgehammer: 8 [ 2 3 2 7 2 2 3 3 ]
Sledgehammer: your dice suck
Gazpacho: the dice need to be put in a burlap sack and beaten...
Sledgehammer: with a jackhammer
Daemion
- Friday, October 15, 1999 at 20:24:06 (EDT)* Sledgehammer drives, drawn to the desecration of the human spirit like a fly to rotten food
((Sledghammer, trolling for a good time))
Daemion
- Friday, October 15, 1999 at 20:22:35 (EDT)GM: A very large Spider Drone is approching you
Samerai: Bravely, I'll lock myself into hand to hand and break its legs.
GM: You break a leg. Its still trying to kill you.
Samerai: I'll break another one.
GM: You break a leg. Its still trying to kill you.
Samerai: How many legs has this thing got?!?
GM: Does the word "Spider" Mean anything to you?
Weasel_Boy
- Wednesday, September 29, 1999 at 16:10:25 (CDT)I'll fireball you.
Gary. The bastard Mage
Weasel_Boy
- Wednesday, September 29, 1999 at 16:06:57 (CDT)Brian and Ron, two street samuri, and tooled to the teeth in experimental (stolen) power armour sneek into the reraku arcology through the sewers. They emerge into a large storage room with only one door.
Ron "i push the door open"
GM " nothing happens"
Ron "i push harder"
GM "The door buckles"
Ron "What is wrong with this door!!"
Gm " it's a sliding door"
Larcenie
- Wednesday, September 29, 1999 at 16:03:36 (CDT)Edmund: Where the hell have you been?
Jim Jim(Coming in the door): I've been to a pub. Been bashed by a gang of lesbians, I was shafted with this nine iron here, and then wrapped in a chastity belt before they tipped the black panel van and painted it pink.
Edmund: The usual huh?
jack <[">jacklives_here@beer.com]>
Aireys Inlet, Australia - Wednesday, September 29, 1999 at 09:39:54 (CDT)Edmund: Where the hell have you been?
Jim Jim(Coming in the door): I've been to a pub. Been bashed by a gang of lesbians, I was shafted with this nine iron here, and then wrapped in a chastity belt before they tipped the black panel van and painted it pink.
Edmund: The usual huh?
jack <[">jacklives_here@beer.com]>
Aireys Inlet, Australi - Wednesday, September 29, 1999 at 09:39:46 (CDT)The characters, after stealing a great deal of secret information from Saeder Krupp, have just been knocked unconcius, and tanken to meet Lofwyr, Great Dragon and owner of the Saeder Krupp Megacorp.
Lofwyr: Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you two imberciles now. . .
BOZZA: Cos' I got a bigger dick than you!
Lofwyr: !
***
Lofwyr: You two idiots are going to do a little Job for me. . .
Bozza: I resent that pin dick!
Note: Bozza has recently ceased to exist.
jack <[">jacklives_here@beer.com]>
Aireys Inlet, Australia - Wednesday, September 29, 1999 at 09:36:23 (CDT)Our group is on a nice simple run [like always] :)
The _really_ butch Elfin lesbian Street Sammi is sneaking around and
manages to roll all ones. She consequently walks into something
rather large. When she picks her self up the GM says: "As you look
up, you see a BIG pair of glowing teeth. It seems you walked into
the den of roughly 20 Bargest. One of them starts chewing on your
arm. What do you do?"
Keeping in mind that this is a stealth mission. The Elf asks
"Which arm is being chewed on?"
A Quick roll later, "Your right. Why?"
"I'm holding a grenade in that hand. Can I pull the pin?"
Needless to say, the grenade goes off (the Elf pulled the pin with
her thumb). It blows the hell out of the Bargest and the Elf, and
subsequently, Lone Star shows up.
The moral of this story is, always look where you're going, and
don't forget the throw the pin.
Grim Shear
- Tuesday, September 28, 1999 at 20:45:11 (CDT)again our decker gets him self in to verbal trouble, this time with an out of control computer AI. The AI was still obeying certain orders if followed with the correct coads.
bytes: open the door , 00975
AI : complying
Bytes the power going stright to his head exclaims: I WILL OBEY YOU . Oh no wait ...
AI : complying. Die of nerve gas.
the room fills with gas , the gtroups utter a collective sigh
Larcenie
- Tuesday, September 28, 1999 at 14:04:27 (CDT)after a heavy gun fight with a bunch of Yakuza several members came out , hands up.
Their leader: We surrender
Our leader : YOU are in no position to issue orders
Larcenie
- Tuesday, September 28, 1999 at 13:58:09 (CDT)Our shaman wants to create a mist spirit, but has no water with which to do it; bytes the decker spots a fire hydrant:
Bytes : i need a wench
Group : laughs
Bytes : What? You know, an adjustable wench.
larcenie
- Tuesday, September 28, 1999 at 13:54:48 (CDT)Doc has survived miniguns, dragons, falls of buildings, vampires, mages, insect spirits, bombs, ghouls, weretigers and top assasins. In a recent game he'd burnt all his Karma up rerolling to get Deadly damage on his shots. Then a ganger shoots him at
Extreme range with a 3 round burst from an SMG (the ganger rolls three dice) and manages to do a Serious wound.
PC consults his character sheet and looks up and utters the immortal line :-
"I don't fraging believe this, I'm dead."
He survived.........the team karma pool didn't.
Bishop
- Sunday, September 26, 1999 at 19:59:29 (CDT)The PCs had just killed a Wendigo and most of a cult who followed him...
Doc(team's killing machine): Wendigos got bounties on them don't they?
GM: Yep
Doc : Right I'll cut his head off
GM : and do what with it exactly????
Doc : Keep it in my fridge until I can collect the reward.
GM : !
Bishop
- Sunday, September 26, 1999 at 19:52:42 (CDT)"I'm a psychopath with a photographic memory"
The team killing machine explaining to a Johnson why it's a bad idea to even think about double crossing him....
Bishop
- Sunday, September 26, 1999 at 19:48:23 (CDT)* Gazpacho shrugs
Gazpacho: better that than dead
Sledgehammer: dead would suck
* Shiv nods
Daemion
- Friday, September 24, 1999 at 19:16:24 (CDT)GM: You're being hit on by three Japanese girls. Two of them are
young and quite pretty looking. One is big, bulky, and ugly.
Myschief: I smile and wave.
GM: They get out of the limo and start walking towards you. "We
like short-haired men"
Myschief (OOC): Umm... *checks his charsheet* I have.. long..
straight.. red.. .hair.
GM: The big girl pins you ... roll your initiative *Myschief
rolls* The two girls approach and begin cutting off your hair.
Myschief (OOC): I use ignite *rolls, badly, and rules 1s on
karma re-roll*
GM: You burn all your hair off, and your eyebrows, and your
clothes. You have no nipples. Roll Willpower
Myschief (OOC): UMMMM.... *rolls*
GM: Your hair grew back. It is now BLUE. So are your nipples.
Myschief (OOC): AAAAUGH!
Tora No Shi
- Saturday, September 18, 1999 at 13:42:21 (CDT)Janna, to Crazy Hakiko the cab driver: Follow that half-naked woman!
Tora No Shi
- Saturday, September 18, 1999 at 13:36:17 (CDT)Myschief calls on the spirits of Air to defend his team from a
sharpshooter.
GM: The sharpshooter gets hit in the head by an enraged sparrow.
Tora No Shi
- Saturday, September 18, 1999 at 13:35:42 (CDT)Myschief, having had a bad day in which his hair was first cut,
then burned off by a backlashed spell, then his nipples and
eyebrows burned off and then everything grown back, but bright
electric blue, then his clothes disappeared by a Water spirit
which possessed him and made him walk into the bay... now asks
his familiar, Zoltan (a raven), for some clothes.
Myschief: Zoltan... get me some clothes. Please?
Zoltan: Nevermore!
Tora No Shi
- Saturday, September 18, 1999 at 13:34:39 (CDT)Myschief: Why didn't I walk away when I had the chance?
Mayna: Because you were thinking with your pistols.
Tora No Shi
- Saturday, September 18, 1999 at 13:32:29 (CDT)After announcing that the game was about to begin, the following
interchange took place between me and two players...
GM (to Lynx, Cat Shaman): What kind of contacts do you have?
Lynx (OOC): I don't know. They're in the drawer in the bathroom.
Hannibal (Physical Adept, OOC): A cheap Wal-Mart brand, I think. Nightshade
- Saturday, September 18, 1999 at 04:47:53 (CDT)Imagine this the street samurai Psycho arms (Known for his incredible
amount of spurs, handblades, hand razors fore arm sheaths etc) and Rammer
the Rigger are sitting around guarding a heavy metal band in a Hotel apartment.
Psycho arms has a bad feeling of the run and is convinced that somethings
wrong whilst Rammer insistss it isn't.
Psycho - "Look I can can confirm my suspicions in one move!"
Rammer - "Whats that?"
Psycho - "I'm looking in the fridge"
He gets up and walks over to the fridge and opens it the GM describes whats in there
GM - "Theres some milk, lettice, some butter, you know what people normally keep in their fridges."
Psycho OOC - "AHA! I get out my Assault Cannon and prepare for the worst"
Rammer - "What the frag are you doing?"
Psycho - "We've been set up this ain't no Heavy Metal Band! Theres no Booze in the fridge!"
Whereupon the GM seeing his point threw his plans out of the window and decided to screw the
run up early whilst at least one of the characters was unprepared.
Predator
- Saturday, September 11, 1999 at 07:07:58 (CDT)Same Rigger, on a date, he managed to do the WORST possible thing at this moment
Date: You know, I was suprised that you actually came, you see, guys usually just dump me without any warning.
Rigger: Hang on a second, I have to get something. (LEAVES the resturant to get flowers when he returns, his date is leaving and VERY pissed)
Psykoguy
- Wednesday, September 08, 1999 at 00:12:50 (CDT)At another session, while the GM was feeling weird, the same rigger finds out that too many horror movies can get you paranoid
GM (as voice on phone): Hehhehehe, soon, I'm gonna come get you!
Rigger: Who is this?
Voice: Oh, nobody really, Im just going to get you
Rigger: Where are you?
Voice: Closer than you think
At this point, the rigger hears a noise in the bathroom, he hangs up the phone and opens the door to see a guy in the scream costume, after killing him, then shooting him several times in the head, the phone rings.
Rigger: Hello?
Voice (again): WHY DID YOU HANG UP ON ME?? NOBODY HANGS UP ON ME!!! (call waiting beeps)
Rigger(a little nervous): uhh, hang on. (clicks over) hello?
Female voice: Yes, i was just wondering, do you know where little kevin is? He went out in his new haloween costume today and i havent seen him since?
Rigger: .......No..... (at this point, the rigger throws the body out the window and into the dumpster 3 floors down)
Psykoguy
- Sunday, September 05, 1999 at 00:41:52 (CDT)After the party below, the same rigger is on his way home
GM: Behind you, there is a horn honking and someone speeding up.
Rigger: I try to lose him
GM: After speeding up, he still follows you.
Rigger: Well, once i get to max speed, I'm gonna slam on the breaks.
GM(after a few die rolls): Ok, the guy behind you smashes into your car, he is now sprawled on the back of the car, barely alive.
Rigger: Ok, i go outside and shoot him through the head.
GM: Ok, you shoot the guy through the head. Oh, by the way, this guy was at the party, all he did wrong was want to get home in a hurry
Psykoguy
- Sunday, September 05, 1999 at 00:32:53 (CDT)Background: The teams rigger was at a party, he recieved a note saying that he could not leave, i guess he thought someone was telling him this
Rigger(raises hand): Uhh, Mr. Turbin man, couldn't we just walk out the front door?
GM: ...Everyone stares at you, mainly because you are trying to get an answer from a note.
Rigger: OH NO, NOT THE VOICES AGAIN!!
Psykoguy
- Sunday, September 05, 1999 at 00:28:49 (CDT)* Katzchen GRINS at Sledge, does a few back handsprings (with sword) while she waits
* Sledgehammer does a quick triple integral in his head, raises an eyebrow, and chuckles
Daemion
- Friday, September 03, 1999 at 20:41:09 (CDT)"Wanna have Vex babby", Said by our dim Troll Street sam
before he unload with a mini-gun full Vexon rounds in close
quarters.
Blitzer
- Friday, September 03, 1999 at 20:19:00 (CDT)"Wanna have Vex babby", Said by our dim Troll Street sam
be fore he unload with a mini-gun full Vexon rounds in close
quarters.
Blitzer
- Friday, September 03, 1999 at 20:18:51 (CDT)After asencing the driver of the truck the mage in our group finds that he has no cyberwear and is quite dim.
Dax (OOC): sniffsniff, oh! so *this* is the disposable grunt type!
GM: I hope you didn't say that outloud.
Mharek
- Saturday, August 28, 1999 at 10:58:28 (CDT)"Would you stop throwing rats at us?!?"
Party Animal's player, after the GM had rats drop on the character's
shoulders while they were trying to get down to the sewer and escape
the Azzie Pyramid. Party Animal
- Wednesday, August 25, 1999 at 05:16:33 (CDT)Background: The team consisting of Falcon and Wild Ace (Two physical
magicians) and Party Animal (the consummate Coyote shaman) are
travelling around the Azzie Magic R&D in the Pyramid (The GM was
feeling evil, but lenient)... They had been causing a bit of havoc,
including letting a tiger shapeshifter loose on one level... They
had just let loose a mess of research animals, and went on.....
GM: You walk down the hall, when you suddenly you hear something.
(The characters get ready for anything.)
PA: I look around..
GM: It's.... A bunny.
(Seeing too much Monty Python, the players go berzerk)
Players (OOC): A bunny?!?!?
GM Nods.
PA (OOC): What's the bunny look like?
GM: It's an ordinary bunny.
PA (OOC): Is it a white bunny, with red eyes? (Still going on the
Monty Python thing...)
GM: Yeah, it's white.. but no red eyes.. It's an ordinary lop-eared
bunny.
All Players (at same time... Switching perspectives, they remember
that in the lab they let the animals go, there was a cyber-modified
hell-hound... OOC): I astrally scan it.
GM: It's an ordinary bunny.
Wild Ace (OOC): Are you sure?
PA (OOC): Yeah... I mean...
GM (Smirking, and shaking his head): Look, it's just an ordinary bunny..
Something I threw in to spook you.. (Starts to laugh)
(Playes throw pillows at GM... Who then throws the same bunny at
them when they end up in the vent system.. Wild Ace ends up keeping
the bunny..) Party Animal
- Wednesday, August 25, 1999 at 05:02:41 (CDT)Background: The team has just managed to hit some Azzie offices in the
Pyramid.. (Our GM was feeling evil) They begin crawling inside the
air ducts when they have to crawl down about ten stories straight down,
the fan going below. Oh.. and did I mention that they were loaded
up from stolen stuff they looted from the Azzie magic R&D dept? (GM was
feeling generous, as well...) As they're crawling down, Party Animal,
consummate Coyote shaman, accidentally drops the staff he was carrying
.... it falls to the bottom, and the sound of grinding metal is heard.
Party Animal: "Er.... I MEANT to do that." Party Animal
- Wednesday, August 25, 1999 at 04:31:11 (CDT)Background: One of the players and I are waiting for the other players
in our game to show up.. This is basically an OOC (though in our characters)
Me: So.... What now?
Player #2: We can take on Aztechnology by ourselves, right? Party Animal
- Wednesday, August 25, 1999 at 04:15:34 (CDT)(Team on a mission to retrieve a captured Tiger shapshifter cub from the zoo and don't know which one it is. Street samurai cocks SMG)
"So, the shapshifter's the one that'll regenerate, right?" Barsaive
- Tuesday, August 24, 1999 at 15:38:52 (CDT)Background: Still into the run that all the quotes below are from..
And dealing with a GM who's read the Dragon Heart trilogy WAY too much.
Draco Foundation Operative: Since the spirit is unavailiable... I
need your help..
PA: All right, what's the scan?
DF Op: We needed the spirit for backup for a run, but now you'll do.
You see, we needed it because the Azzies have captured Najda Daviar
and are keeping her in the Pyramid. (Further explains how the Azzies
are controlling the media so everyone thinks that everything's AOK)
DF Op: You will be the backup for a group of runners that's rather
famous... (Everyone knows that it's Assets Inc... The players groan)
Wild Ace's Player (OOC) Don't say it! Party Animal
- Sunday, August 22, 1999 at 03:13:00 (CDT)Background: Party Animal, consummate Coyote shaman (look it up) is called
in by a runner team (the rest of the players) for magical backup by a
friend of his within the team... He gets the tour of their HQ, and meets
their security rigger (a dwarf named Mr. French), who is hooked into the
machinery.
PA: (Sees the rigger) Wow, that computer has a strange fleshy outgrowth
on it! And it has a beard, too!
(Later into the introduction)
Falcon (Physical Magician, friend to PA who called him in): This is
our security rigger, Mr. French...
PA (OOC): Hey, is he British?
Mr. French (OOC): Yeah...
PA (IC): Hey, where's Buffy and Jody?
(Yes, this player, me, has seen WAY too much TV LAND) Party Animal
- Sunday, August 22, 1999 at 03:07:25 (CDT)Background: In this same run mentioned below.... A great form Air
Elemental goes berzerk after the Draco Foundation operative tried
to bind it...
PA: (Trying to drive a fleeing van, actualy has the Van skill.. It's
buffeted by an attack by the elemental, starting to shake violently)
Stop the ride, I wanna get off!! Party Animal
- Sunday, August 22, 1999 at 03:01:32 (CDT)Background: In the middle of the run with a LOT of crap flung at them...
Party Animal, the consummate Coyote shaman was called in to help, just
before the drek hit the fan.
PA: (Saurcastically) Hey, Falcon... Thanks a hell of a lot for calling me. Party Animal
- Sunday, August 22, 1999 at 02:58:47 (CDT)Background: Party Animal, the consummate Coyote shaman, is with his team
providing backup for a person (who turns out LATER to be an operative for
the Draco Foundation....
(Note: This was halfway IC/OOC)
Operative: I need you to provide backup for me...
Wild Ace: (Physical Magician): How much are we gonna get paid?
PA: Yeah, 'cause it depends on whether you need the Platinum Service or not..
Wild Ace: Yeah, we actually provide full backup for that, for say.. 5K each.
PA: Then there's Cardboard Service.. Where we give you the gun and run..
that's about five nuyen. Party Animal
- Sunday, August 22, 1999 at 02:55:34 (CDT)* Receptionist sits in a downtown office drinking coffee from a mug with "I was at the Reading of the Dunk's Will, and all I got was this lousy mug" written on it. ((Dunkelzahn had a strange sense of humor when deciding what the employee holiday gifts
would be after his death.))
Daemion
- Saturday, August 21, 1999 at 00:00:53 (CDT)* Shiv smiles, it's not a friendly smile
* Sledgehammer crosses the gas grenades off the list of things to dig out of his closet before this job
Daemion
- Friday, August 20, 1999 at 20:44:38 (CDT)Kane, the hulking troll PhysAd, had died a glorious death. After shooting several land-based enemies armed with assault rifles while swimming, he shredded a water elemental in underwater combat, resurfaced, and continued the shootout with the last of t
he bad guys - all the while still hurting from the wounds of the last night( where the runners got ambushed in their hotel in the middle of the night and Kane had saved their butts by finishing half of the attackers himself). He managed to wound the last
opponent bad enough to send him running from the fight, after firing two last salvos on Kane.
Unfortunately, this last wound filled his Physical Damage Monitor completely, knocking him out(By this point, all karma had been spent - in fact, all of the runners had entered this combat without even a single point left). Kane subsequently drowned, and
the teams mage, by now the only member of the team who wasn't unconscious due to damage, was too busy saving the live of another drowning person to arrive in time to save him. Nonetheless, his heroic efforts had saved the rest of the team.
But the Sixth World isn't kind to the memory of heroes. Upon their return, the Johnson noticed the decreased number of team members...
Johnson :" I see someone of you is missing..."
Schmendrick (70-year-old! human mage):"Well, see, he simply wasn't tough enough !"
A.G.
- Friday, August 20, 1999 at 04:56:15 (CDT)During a particularly hazardous run my team had to escape from a aztecnology building via the heliport on the roof. the tension was high as we dodged bullets and evaded fireballs.Finding cover behind the chopper we happly return fire,then the GM in ful
l flow screaches "the last burst catches you around the chopper"at which point play had to be abandoned for half an hour
Chance
- Wednesday, August 18, 1999 at 07:07:13 (CDT)Twitch is driving down the road after being missing for a while thanks to a weird squirrel shaman... Then Cassanova, who was on his way to find him, passes him going in the opposite direction.
Cassanova: I do a bootlegger reverse.
A few die-rolls later...
Twitch: Need a ride?
Twitch
- Tuesday, August 17, 1999 at 23:53:22 (CDT)GM: "A squirrel chitters at you from a tree as you leave the forest behind."
Twitch (annoyed shaman): "I flip it the bird." Mendon
- Tuesday, August 17, 1999 at 21:57:19 (CDT)Far away from home, Genocide(antisocial hobgoblin streetsam) tries to dig up some information.
He enters a bar (in Sekondi) and really manages to meet some talkative sailors, who happen to
speak a very bad english...
Sailor: " Ju want to 'now somthing, ju will hev to giv' us somthing..."
Genocide (mocking): "Well, what do 'ju' want ?"
Sailor (pointing at the bulge under Genocide's jacket):" Ju giv' us gun. Gun is good for us !"
Genocide: JU want my buckshot-ammo ? IN-JUR-HEAD ??!! "
After a little negotiation, Genocide finally manages to ask his questions...
Genocide: "We need to know where the Mermaids are. 'Ju understend' ?"
Sailor: "Mermaids ?"
Genocide: "Yes, Mermaids...you know, fishes with tits !"
A.G.
- Tuesday, August 10, 1999 at 05:06:30 (CDT)During the Harlequin campaign, the characters accepted a job consisting of the killing of an entire elfposer
gang and delivering the ears back to Mr. Johnson. Their attempt at stealth trashed by the psycho orksam ( who literally blasted his way into their HQ while the rest tried to open a window), they finally stood amidst a lot of bodies produced in a long and
loud fight, suspecting Lone Star to arrive within the next few minutes...
PhysAd: Hurry up ! Cut off those ears and move it ! Someone give me a knife...
(as the rest of the team stares at each other blandly ): Please tell me this isn't true !!!
A.G.
- Tuesday, August 10, 1999 at 04:47:15 (CDT)Reddog and Stormcaller are on their way to a swamp to look for some magical plant.
Reddog: Stormy, did you remeber to bring a tennis racquet?
Stormcaller: No, why?
Reddog: They don't have mesquitos down there. They got blood-sucking hummingbrids.
Stormcaller
- Monday, August 09, 1999 at 05:44:13 (CDT)One player had a lodge set up in her apartments bedroom. One player, her real life boy friend, was expecting some magical trouble after being harassed by toxic spirits. Her exact statement:
"Speedfreak, get in my bedroom!"
On another occaision, when the party realized they were being set up:
"We're not going to get paid for this."
Card 'em Danno
- Sunday, August 08, 1999 at 19:20:03 (CDT)One player hung up quickly on a Mr. Johnson.
He rushes to the hotel he was supposed to check in at and walks straight to the desk clerk.
Player: Do you have a reservation for Speedfreak?
Clerk (unimpressed): No.
Player runs to phone, finds the reservation name, and goes back to the clerk.
Player: Do you have a room for Mr. Johnson?
Clerk: Can I see some ID?
Card 'em Danno
- Sunday, August 08, 1999 at 19:17:19 (CDT)Decker to troll: How the hell did you sneak that Roomsweeper past the guards? The patted us all down for christs sake.
Troll: I hid it where no sane person would feel up a troll.
Decker: Thank you. Thats a little bit more than i need to know.
Troll: Hey. You asked.
Blizzard
- Friday, August 06, 1999 at 20:26:23 (CDT)Upon delivering a new simsense chip to a small building, my partner Silent Pimp and I fell off our motorcycle and crashed in an alley. When we stood up, 3 gangers were waiting for us.
Ganger leader: Alright, where's the chip?
Silent Pimp: what Chip?
Gang leader: Don't play dumb with me, slitch! Where's the chip?
other gangers: Yeah! Where's the chip?
Me (OOC): "Yeah, where is the chip?" (Turns out it was in my coat pocket all along)
mortikai
- Tuesday, August 03, 1999 at 12:12:29 (CDT)A group of runners step out of a "time machine" into an old aztec scene. A young girl is being sacrificed on top of a pyramid surrounded by hundreds of worshippers. Doing the "right" thing (and realizing their magic works as well) they rush towards t
he doomed girl hacking and slashing their way through the crowd. Upon slaying the evil priest:
Jonny Longshot: We can RULE this world!
Dorf the troll: Uh boss, what's that camera doing over there?
Jonny Longshot: Oh s*it
The poor saps had stumbled on the set for a movie and had slaughtered half the cast on film. DOH!
Sylvie
- Sunday, August 01, 1999 at 14:57:48 (CDT)During a particularly bloody run involving a LOT of grenades (the PCs
went loaded for bear with explosives), the following quote was quipped by
the GM roleplaying a sec guard:
"Captain, we figured out something. If we shoot them, we blow up!" Turner
- Friday, July 30, 1999 at 16:27:54 (CDT)GM: "But [fellow Player]is in that room!"
Player: "I've got Smartgun" Turner
- Friday, July 30, 1999 at 16:26:27 (CDT)"Oh my God, they're doing Riverdance, shoot them all!"
In response to first viewing a ritual summoning... Turner
- Friday, July 30, 1999 at 16:25:20 (CDT)"Who" (formerly "What"), an enigmatic Elf Earth Elementalist/Merc, was
the source of many quotes, especially when it came to his mortality. We
finally decided he was an immortal elf because he kept on taking D
wounds. I let him Hand of God even before the Hand of God rule was
published...
"If I die, you owe me."
"Ah Docwagon... home, sweet, home"
"That's it, I'm buying a permanent Hospitalized lifestyle"
"Ah Who... I knew you back when you were What..." Turner
- Friday, July 30, 1999 at 16:23:44 (CDT)Bullseye, the aptly-named hardass Street Sam has just survived a
screwover run that ended with a flourish...
Bullseye: The Johnson and I are alone?
Me, as GM: Yes.
BUllseye: And he just paid me?
GM: Yes.
Bullseye: I pull out my Manhunter and blow his head off.
I gave him Karma for the cinematics. Call it catharsis. Turner
- Friday, July 30, 1999 at 16:19:31 (CDT)Stormcaller: I step across the street.
GM: You're about halfway across when a pink blur barrels past you, followed by a slightly slower black one.
Stormcaller: I run the rest of the way across.
GM: Just as you step onto the sidewalk, you hear "Stop, you little pink bastard!" Next thing you know, you're waking up in your apartment. Reddog is standing over you, holding the head of the Energizer Bunny in one hand.
Reddog: Sorry Stormy, he just kept going and going and going...
((Note, Reddog was rewarded with a swift kick in the ass)) Stormcaller
- Tuesday, July 27, 1999 at 05:28:59 (CDT)After the shaman lightningbolted the helicopter in the Imago module, the GM suddenly realized that the pilot had not been given a piloting skill.
The GM: "And the Helicopter crashes due to a continuity error"
Delphi
- Monday, July 26, 1999 at 20:18:02 (CDT)After the entire group, including one who playe\s a 16-year-old spoiled girl, is called to a meeting, it is revealed that ALL of their services are requested for a job:
Casanova: What would anyone want to hire a 16-year-old schoolgirl for? Besides the obvious, I mean. Casanova
- Saturday, July 24, 1999 at 15:57:45 (CDT)After the entire group, including one who playe\s a 16-year-old spoiled girl, is called to a meeting, it is revealed that ALL of their services are requested for a job:
Casanova:What would anyone want to hire a 16-year-old schoolgirl for? Besides the obvious, I mean. Casanova
- Saturday, July 24, 1999 at 15:57:28 (CDT)(This was a brief part of a shouting match, after a street sam, wanting to rescue a lost child and still use all his neat 'toys'; he'd tossed three grenades into the room where the child and kidnapper were.)
PETER, singed and having burns all over: "Mommy!!"
MRS. MATHESON: What happened? What on earth did you do to my son?!?
STREET SAM, thinking quick: "Well, Mrs. Matheson, when I got to your son, the kidnapper was in the process of burning him to death!"
(The street sam didn't get paid for that one...) Adarel, Angel of Autumn
- Tuesday, July 20, 1999 at 05:15:34 (CDT)GM: Alright, you're leaving the Filtration Plant, hard-balling out across the entry lot. You get a good twenty meters or so away from the main gates before those incendaries find something nice and volilitle. Flames errupt out of the loading bay, mirca
ously transforming that once rolling door into high velocity shrapnel, coming your way at something roughly equating the speed of light. Whip out those body dice gentlemen - you've got some resisting to do.
(The PC's roll some dice, blow some karma and survive; not unscathed, but definitly alive)
GM(again):Alright, as the majority of the fragments wash over you, the blast puting a decent bend in the gatehouse, the air in front of you shimmers as a trio of true form Wasp spirits manifest, trying to block your egress.
Player: Three of them? Damn. Alright; I vanquish the evil to the left....
The Electric Messiah
- Wednesday, July 14, 1999 at 23:33:15 (CDT)"Well crap, that's rough. We're going to need all the help we can take."
The Electric Messiah
- Wednesday, July 14, 1999 at 23:23:07 (CDT)Fishbone:(aiming an AK-97 (w/APDS) at a dragon running down the street)
Rest of PC's:Shoot!
Fishbone:I aim another turn.
Rest of PC's:Shoot!
Fishbone:I aim.
GM:(grinning)The dragon takes off and flies over a building. Too bad. You probably would have hit it and seriously hurt it.
(Johnny) Cash
- Thursday, July 08, 1999 at 22:28:08 (CDT)Scud (really cybered street sam) is in a club waiting for a meet and gets into a fight with a 16 year oldish kid. Scud kicks him in the face and knocks him down.
GM:(new combat turn)The kid gets back up.
Scud:He wants more? I'll punch him again.
GM:He falls down. Again.
(new combat turn)He gets back up. Again.
Scud:What?
After Scud gets the whuppin' of his life by the kid, the team meets the Johnsons. Scud sees that the kid is one of the Johnsons.
GM:The leader introduces them and adds that they are a vampire coven.
(Johnny) Cash
- Thursday, July 08, 1999 at 22:21:47 (CDT)(when berated by the team's Charisma 8 Phys-ad/Anti-gun guy on the amount of guns that Cash carried on himself)
Cash:"Hey, you can get further with a kind word and a gun than a on kind word alone."
(Originally said by Al Capone)
(Johnny) Cash
- Thursday, July 08, 1999 at 22:06:20 (CDT)said by the character with so much C-12 that his furnature is made of it
Sam: Uhh, guys, i suggest you dont smoke here.
Karail
- Sunday, July 04, 1999 at 00:03:11 (CDT)Sam(during char creation: How much C-12 can i get for $850,280?
**later**
Sam(to fixer): Hey, you wouldnt know if i can get any toxic waste?
fixer: .......two weeks
Roadkill: I hope that your basement is lined with lead.
Sam: Yeah, its about fifty feet under ground to shield me from the 2525 kilograms of C-12
Karail
- Friday, July 02, 1999 at 00:11:42 (CDT)GM:You've just killed the dragon and stolen all of his loot.
You load it into your Ares Dragon, but the helicoptor is too heavy to
take off, what do you do?
Sparky (The brain dead Samurai): I shoot the pilot and throw
his body out the door.
*Note* No one in the party could pilot the helicopter and someone
where over the Rockie Mtns. end up being forced to walk home to
Seattle. Maclord
- Thursday, July 01, 1999 at 23:10:12 (CDT)Archer: I'm heading out to buy a 50 nuyen suitcase.
Archer: Kay-o?
Havoc: You get a 50 nuyen suitcase.
Havoc: From the 50 Nuyen Suitcase Co.
Archer: Cool. I take it it's synth-leather?'
Havoc: Yep.
Havoc: For real leather, you need to see the 200 Nuyen Suitcase Co.
Archer: Oh.
Havoc>: But it looks leathery enough.
Ratoslov
- Thursday, July 01, 1999 at 20:19:54 (CDT) I'm heading out to buy a 50 nuyen suitcase. Kay-o? You get a 50 nuyen suitcase. From the 50 Nuyen Suitcase Co. Cool. I take it it's synth-leather?' Yep. For real leather, you need to see the 200 Nuyen Suitcase Co. Oh. But it looks leathery enough.
Ratoslov
- Thursday, July 01, 1999 at 20:19:00 (CDT)In a run involving a vanished runner and Transylvania, my character, Ash (from Evil Dead - Army of Darkness) saves the others characters from a notorious munchkin hobogoblin (Physical Mage at that).
Ash: "Hey, where'd you get that third eye?"
Picalo: "What third eye?"
Ash: #BOOM#
* Ash discharges both barrels...
GM: * As both barrel's explode, so does Picalo's head. *
Hail to the King, baby. The SuperFly
- Wednesday, June 30, 1999 at 01:14:00 (CDT)The young punk Cat shaman, who in the last two game days went from virginity to having been with three different women, (coincidentally) hits on streak of lucky spellcasting rolls, and decides spontaneously that the more sex he has, the better mage he
will be.
the professional
- Monday, June 28, 1999 at 05:26:44 (CDT)Shortly after killing a man who was making a disturbance in his employer's nightclub (named "Club Hell"), Wess looks at the stunned crowd and says, "What's the matter, you never seen a dead person in Hell before?" - from Wess "I Guess" Smith
the professional
- Monday, June 28, 1999 at 05:25:04 (CDT)"Honestly, are we half as clever as we think we are? Because that would be cool..." - from Keith "Pillar of Flame" Baker
the professional
- Monday, June 28, 1999 at 05:23:05 (CDT)"Well, what *kinds* of grenades *are* there?" - from Tracey
the professional
- Monday, June 28, 1999 at 05:19:10 (CDT)[GM] *Beep* We're sorry, but all spirits are busy right now. Please try again later.
Ah, the joys of conjuring.
Angel
- Friday, June 25, 1999 at 21:22:29 (CDT)*in a mage-frequented bar*
[AngelT] Bonjour.. quoi de neuf? What's new?
[Sapa] Uh... not much...why is that man on fire?
[AngelT] *wry* I don't ask...
Angel
- Friday, June 25, 1999 at 19:33:00 (CDT)A lesser vampire leaps snarling into the descending elevator. Inside the elevator car are: Naryn, a hardened ex-marine, and Tito, a physad who can turn his forearms into blades.
::The creature lands, armed only with its bare hands, in front of Tito::
Tito(who's already killed about 17 assorted vampiric creatures and has one box of stun to show for it): ::laughs:: "You just did the wrong thing." Bennyboy
- Monday, June 21, 1999 at 20:11:11 (CDT)Shere Kahn the tiger shapeshifter is stuck in tiger form in the Metaplanes. Of course, being stuck in tiger form means that he has to tell the others that one of the other players, Kaos, needs some back up to go kill the bad guys.
Player - "Kahn! Where have you been?"
Kahn - "Grr, snarl "
Player - "What's that Lassie?"
Kahn -
Player - "Kaos fell down a mineshaft! And the bad guys are up there waiting! You go get Timmy and the others..."
Mr Oogy Boogy
- Wednesday, June 16, 1999 at 00:24:44 (CDT)Nightshade the elf, the one character who takes deadly damage EVERY session, goes down again, for about the eighth week in a row. This time the GM's having a bit of trouble bringing him back, so we, the players, are filling in time.
Player 1 - "So, Nightshade, do you get frequent flyer points for going to the pearly gates anymore?"
Player 2 - "Do you just punch in a ticket when you go up there, 'shade? You just say, 'Hiya Saint Peter!" He say's, 'Hey Nightshade, staying long?"
Me - "Don't be silly guys, they have a little revolving door set up just for him. Visits his parents on a regular basis."
Mr Oogy Boogy
- Wednesday, June 16, 1999 at 00:13:10 (CDT)"Friends are perfect bodyguards. When ya's are in danger ya kick em in da nads and go behind em and heck ya's got yaself a bodyuard"
an evil 80 year old human (Texan)
- Tuesday, June 15, 1999 at 22:01:19 (CDT)Runners are harrassed by a gang of neo natzi skinheads. There's enough of them to make life dificult for the runners so they decide to try and talk their way out of the situation.
One of the neo-natzi's says, "Hitler lives!"
One of the players, a Racoon shaman, says, pointing, "Yes that's him just over there."
Natzi punks all turn around, and the team makes a break for it.
Mr Oogy Boogy
- Tuesday, June 15, 1999 at 11:48:20 (CDT)Street Sam with an armor rating of 12/9 (armored cyber arms and bad optional rules) gets hit with a few LOR rockets and sucks it, so the angry and bitter GM hits him with two bursts from a Ruger Thunderbolt with APDS ammo being wielded by the hand of m
in max. Character ends up taking nine boxes of physical damage, and hits the driver of the car that was getting away. Car crashes, team gets the loot.
Street Sam - Okay, let's get out of here, I have dints.
Mr Oogy Boogy
- Tuesday, June 15, 1999 at 11:20:59 (CDT)A common quote from our Shadow Run team who are always in so much drek,
"It sounded like a good idea at the time."
Reaper
- Tuesday, June 08, 1999 at 20:07:43 (CDT)Having just cleared out a scientific research building and recovered the stolen equipment, my Street Sam [Reaper] proceeded to get the guard to kneel and beg for his life which he duly did as i had a big shotgun, then noticing the guards uziIII on the
floor Reaper picks it up and proceeds to empty the entire clip into the guards face and then walk out the front door of the building.
GM: Why did you do that?
Reaper: He looked at me funny.
GM:No he looked at you drek scarred.
Reaper: Well I thought it was a funny look so i killed him, but hey i'm just sick.
Reaper
- Tuesday, June 08, 1999 at 20:06:28 (CDT)(After a tough run which leaves most of the team members dead or seriously wounded, the decker celebrates his fortune at coming out of the run unscathed)
Decker: Not a scratch! WhooHoo! (Pumps his arm) Eat it, eat it! Yes!
Player to GM: Could you just drop an anvil on him?
Farce
- Tuesday, June 08, 1999 at 19:53:57 (CDT)A short lived rigger with our group:
"When I jack in, I jack off."
Damien
- Sunday, May 30, 1999 at 03:02:43 (CDT)An exchange of words between Judas, the surly Street Samurai/Mercenary, and a bartender with a deathwish regarding a female team member who was considering getting plastered after killing her first metahuman...
* Judas tells the 'tender, "Not a damn drop of liquor for her or you answer to me."
Judas: "...OR any of the drek your patrons are on."
* Judas goes back to trying random PW's pertaining to the Tallies
GM: ** "Well sir, there are two ways we can take care of that: you can pay me for the drinks she WOULD buy, or you can beat some sense into me" **
GM: ** He smiles. **
* Judas looks up
Judas: "I need her sober."
Judas: "As much as she protests."
GM: ** "That's her choice, not yours." **
Judas: "We can see whose choice it is."
GM: ** "Like I said, two ways." **
Judas: "I think you know what way I'd go with, pal."
GM: ** "Then hand it over, chum." **
* Judas shakes his head
Judas: "Door number two."
Judas: "She stays sober."
GM: ** "I hate door number two." **
Judas: "I don't." The SuperFly
- Monday, May 17, 1999 at 14:51:18 (CDT)weapon x to semi after buying an incredibly exspensive semi truck "you know how to drive dont you"? semi replied dont you and it was at this point that we were attacked by a force of nan troops weapon x and semi exclaim drek!!!!!!!
weapon x
- Sunday, May 16, 1999 at 11:42:59 (CDT)player team: you keep that axe where.to troll street sam semi
semi:between you know where
weapon x
- Sunday, May 16, 1999 at 11:35:38 (CDT)This was said once when we were playing....
"Is it a bad thing that our faces are being showed all over the Seattle Trideo News Networks right now ? You dont think people will recognize us later do you ?"
Nephyte
- Saturday, May 15, 1999 at 04:52:28 (CDT)I don't know if this counts, but it happened tonight . . . remove it if you like.
Our party, searching for an escaped subject of a pharmeuceuticals corporation, used Tri-D phantasm to fake five sightings across Berlin. Upon finding out that Renraku and Aztechnology were also looking, we used a voder to fake VIP's voices to their securi
ty, giving them a location and "Get here NOW DAMMIT!".
Two more players showed up on location. When else are you goingto get to see a five-way firefight between Aztechnolgy, Renraku, Saeder-Krupp, Schering, and a fifth (?) player, and not be *IN* the damn thing . . . . Delphi
- Saturday, May 15, 1999 at 00:25:30 (CDT)During a tactic session, I can't remember who . .
"Okay - We can take out the Aztechnology Strike Team. We *might* be able to take out the Dragon. We can't take out the Strike Team *and* the Dragon. Methinks we negotiate . . ." Delphi
- Friday, May 14, 1999 at 17:55:36 (CDT)'If you don't want the players to ruin the plot, don't let them roll the dice . . .'
Delphi (OOC) - I have one action? Can I hit the chopper with a powerbolt?
GM - Well, in theory. Target number is 24 . . .
Delphi fires - Burn a service each from two force seven fire elementals. Rolls. . . one success . . .
GM (flipping through rulebook) - godamn it, it doesn't get *any* resistance . . .
Delphi
- Friday, May 14, 1999 at 17:46:44 (CDT)Delphi - To Steelhawk, the parties -other- mage.
"We really need to stop and see which of these foci we want to use, and what to sell and split the funds."
Steelhawk - "How much do we have?"
Delphi - "Just under four million nuyen . . ."
GM - "WHAT?!?!?! How have you collected that much?"
Delphi - "In an old shoebox I presume . . ." Delphi
- Friday, May 14, 1999 at 17:37:46 (CDT)My mage's reminder to egotistical mages on shadowlands.
"Yes - pound for pound, I am deadlier than the biggest Street Samurai. Pound for pound. Have you noticed the *SIZE* of some of those guys?!?"
- Our Street Sam (Slugg the very large Troll) has a Ranger SM3 that we've dubbed magekiller for its habit of ripping through Armor spells at force 10 like they were tissue paper. Delphi
- Friday, May 14, 1999 at 17:31:00 (CDT)As a gang of Neo-nazi ganger's decide that our team in infringing on their turf . . .
Logos (Dwarf Decker) - Removes his hat, revealing his yarmulke.
- "Bad move boys . . ." Delphi
- Friday, May 14, 1999 at 17:23:54 (CDT)In the middle of a firefight with two initiates on each side and grenades being used in close quarters, the surviving wagemage tries invisibly sneaking up on my Masked and Shielded Initiate.
"What are You here for? They Slumming?"
The Wagemage broke and ran . . . Delphi
- Friday, May 14, 1999 at 17:16:07 (CDT)After several meaningless hours of debate on whether or not the riggers car would fit on the helicopter, the psycho merc tossed a grenade through the window and said, "we're leavin it! RUN!"... too bad the slow, bad rollin decker was sittin on the hood
of the car and it had 200 rounds of panther cannon ammo in the back.
Sorry Link, we miss ya.
The Ditsy Wage Mage. Whisper
- Thursday, May 13, 1999 at 19:55:04 (CDT)"What's the blast radius of a mouse?"
-Resident Demolitions expert in a pet shop after running out of ammo for his Predator.
Lord Niven
- Monday, May 10, 1999 at 23:48:36 (CDT)flynn: (to dragon who just refused to pay him)
"yes, you are most certainly capable of killing me, but I am
quite sure that I can do in excess of the 10,000 nuyen owed me
in damage to that antique colection before i die...(levels SMG
at Ming Vases).
(He got paid and a karma)
flynn
- Monday, May 03, 1999 at 08:34:04 (CDT)"It's ok Phear, you're a street sammy. You don't HAVE to be in tune with things." -Phrase that made it's way into everyday conversation amongst the group, in every possible variation including race/class/GM =)
Twitch
- Thursday, April 29, 1999 at 15:07:16 (CDT)::running by teammates::
Uh, that was supposed to work. RUN!!!!
Monkeyboy
- Monday, April 26, 1999 at 05:53:03 (CDT)WHY I HATE MALES PLAYING FEMALES.
Take 1:
Male PC playing a female character: "I dodge like a girl, you know in a feminine sort of way, making myself look helpless..."
Everyone else: "Huh???"
GM: "Okay... roll your combat pool, TN 6. There's a +2 for "acting femine". If you aren't going to dodge like your life depended on it suck the penalties!"
PC: "What?!"
(Argument follows)
Take 2:
GM: "The facility is on full alert, the sec guard in front of the entrance has a shotgun and he looks nervous..."
Male playing female PC: "I step out of concealment, unarmed and start walking towards him."
GM (as sec guard, levels shotgun):"Halt!"
M/F PC: "I start doing a striptease."
GM: "Top or bottom first?"
M/F PC (with a big grin): "Bottom!"
GM: "He fires."
M/F PC: "What?! I leap to the side!"
GM: "You try to leap out of the shotgun blast forgetting about your pants around your ankles; sending you crashing to the ground..."
Once Was PC
- Sunday, April 25, 1999 at 23:10:19 (CDT)i, as GM, would have never expected any of this to happen.
GM: Ok, now that you have either killed or knocked unconscious everyone,
what do you do?
Fleix (the teams FEMALE cat shaman): I take off the womans clothes and
bring her into the van, and "make a woman out of her"
GM: WHAT?
Phys adept: When she's done, I go next
Yatjan
- Monday, April 26, 1999 at 00:18:50 (CDT)venny(me) ok i look around what do i see?
gm: you see a mail box telecom,parking meeters,the gangers that are goin
to kill you and some inocent bistanders
venny: ok i rip a parking meeter out 2 and use them as weapons (im a
troll physad)
other player: whats his modifer?
gm: he doesnt get one
other player: why the hell not???!!!
venny: here look at my armed combat(armed combat/municiple propert 5/7)
gm: alright back to the game
venny: hey are there any city workers?
gm:.....ok thats just wrong
venny
- Sunday, April 25, 1999 at 16:01:50 (CDT)On a run to retrieve a magical tome from a house, the Johnson is asked
about the fencing in the area...
GM: * "There are two utility sheds, and what appears to be a second
garage in back of the house. I don't know anything about the fence. I
think I know how you can find out, however..." *
GM: * "They call them 'automobiles'...I hear that once you get in them,
you can drive all around and see all kinds of things." *
Shadow: " Tell us more about this...a..u..t..o..m..o..b..i..l..e"
...When a smartass GM meets equally smartassed players. The SuperFly
- Sunday, April 25, 1999 at 01:48:14 (CDT)This is in response to Johnny Demonic's quote "him sword, me gun" further down.
Bit o' background JD didn't mention:
Ian had taken a hit from a silenced sniper rifle...
The trigger man, honourable huh? Sure chumlichen... thank God for damage compensators and layered armor!
Ian's good with a sword? No omae, monofilament whip and spurs... ah well it was back in '89 or so, recalls' not so good neh, JD?
The mono-fillet whip has a tendency to kill it's users when they chalk up enough hurts. Ian was hurting.
Ian had 8 rounds of APDS left in his M20t Ingram smartgun...
And to sum it all up in one of Ian's quotes:
"I'm just a decker."
Mirage "Decker with an Attitude!"
- Thursday, April 22, 1999 at 00:30:55 (CDT)Me: "[Jakko], what the heck are you doing?"
Jakko (OOC to GM): "I'm a Snake shaman - I'm curious about these eggs."
Me (incredulous): "They're Wasp spirit eggs -- that's all you have to know!! We have to bug out NOW!"
- seconds later, all the extra karma for staying in character didn't mean drek when two spirits manifested and tore him in two!
Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 01:48:58 (CDT)A firefight breaks out INSIDE a security station (4m by 4m with a circular console in the middle) at a gate. Graeme is shooting it out with a guard in a full suit and is getting the worse of it.
Graeme: "[Tristan], what the hell are you doing??? I need help RIGHT NOW!!"
Tristan: "Hold on a little longer! I'm assembling my sniper rifle!" Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 01:39:05 (CDT)My core group of players, no matter where I am in the world, is almost always made up of rather heroic and cinematic players so I expected the final showdown between Ian, one of my most dramatic of players, and the No. 1 Bad Dude who killed his gal to
be nothing short of spectacular.
Ian chases the Bad Dude up the stairs of an old cathedral. Both of them trade fire all the way up to the roof where they exit and run along the top in the rain (this was before The Crow made cinema history). The BD gets to the edge where he can't run any
further. He turns around and Ian stops about 10m away. BD fires and clicks home on an empty chamber. After a long moment, he grins maniacally and draws his sword.
Ian, who is deadly with a blade himself, knows this guy is a bad ass muther who is equally good but is the "honourable" type. After a long moment, he pulls the trigger and empties his magazine into the guy.
Me: "... frag - I thought you were honourable than that!"
Ian: "Are you crazy? Him sword, me gun." Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 01:30:08 (CDT)After smacking Paul's character around for being rude to me, he draws a gun on me and I draw my bow.
Paul: "Motherfragging frag, drop the gun!"
Me (smiling): "Nice thing about a bow is that all you have to do is let go."
Paul dropped the gun. :-) Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 01:20:25 (CDT)Me: "As you enter the Needle's lobby, you're greeted by four Delta gates (cyberware/weapons check) and two heavily aromoured security guards."
Trent: "Um ..."
Me (as NPC guard): "Please empty your pockets, open your bags and step right through here, please, sir."
Trent hesitates, then proceeds to comply.
Me: "What are you carrying?"
Trent: "Everything." Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 01:13:32 (CDT)Judas (after jumping out of a doomed plane without a parachute): *triumphantly* I order my fire elemental to catch me and take me down to earth!"
Me: "You'll need this blank character sheet." Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 01:07:47 (CDT)Simon: "Rbing 'em on! Nothing can get through this milspec armour!"
Me: "Uh-huh?"
- seconds before a fire elemental manifested in Simon's suit and engulfed him! Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 01:03:33 (CDT)Me (as NPC): "Kelly Taylor, UCAS SOG."
Nick: "[PC name], Knight Errant Fireteam."
Gerard: "[PC name], UCAS Navy SEALs."
Mo: *deadpan* "Death Machine, shadowrunner." Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 00:51:05 (CDT)Pete: "I cut [Simon's] throat."
All of us: "What??!"
Pete: "Well, since I'm going to die, I don't want to alone." Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 00:46:28 (CDT)Pete:
Johnny Demonic <[">johnny_demonic@hotmail.com]>
USA - Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 00:45:12 (CDT)Me: "Er, Pete, you were told by the Johnson that the ship was coming in at 2AM. It's only midnight now."
Pete: "So, maybe the ship came in early or the Johnson was wrong - I'm stil going to blow up the cargo."
*Tortured, inarticulate sounds from the other players who see their pay and bonus going up in smoke* Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 00:42:49 (CDT)Seamus (GM): "How much armour???"
Simon (playing a rigger): "What's wrong with wanting to feel safe? NOTHING is getting through this baby!"
Seamus: "Okay, let's see ... your van now moves at a max speed of 24m per turn on-road. Getting out of the carpark with this monstrosity is going to be tricky - make a driving check."
Simon: "Oh, frag, I can't drive." Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 00:39:21 (CDT)John, the guy who tricked up his bike with the death-by-electro-shock security system(see below) was also in the room with Tristan (see below) when the stachel charge came in.
John: "Oh, drek, I take cover behind the couch!" Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 00:34:41 (CDT)Tristan: "I kick in my wires out the balcony!"
- in a two-room apartment on the 61st floor after a Triad member threw in a 1kg satchel charge. Needless to say, Tristan could not stop in time when he reached the balcony railing! Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 00:32:49 (CDT)Simon: "Why is that man using language?"
- seconds before Simon got fried by a Hellblast. Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 00:30:01 (CDT)Me: "The four of them fan out some 20-25m away; the leader and one of his lieutenants are drawing what appear to be SMGs."
Stephen: *playing a phys ad who's drek hot with a sword* "drek, is that all? a couple of SMGs, a baseball bat and a length of chain among the four of them?? I can take them all myself! I'll charge the gangers with my sword!"
Me: "Your blade literally sings out of its sheath as you break into a run towards them."
Stephen: "Cut the down the leader with the SMG."
Me: "Your movement carries to within a few metres of the leader before you're struck by a dawnng realisation that he'll draw bead on you by the time you close with him."
Stephen: "WHAT??!!"
Me: "What's your quickness?"
Stephen: "5"
Me: "That's 15m max - not close enough to strike him."
Stephen: "Oh, frag ... CROW [another PC]!!!!!!!!!" Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 00:27:40 (CDT)One of my players, who wasn't very well-liked by the others in the group 'cos he consistently malfed up, spent nigh on NY750,000 on a lethal electrical security system for his bike.
PCs draw up outside the rendezvous point, an out-of-the-way club in Seattle. It's raining hard and everybody is miserable.
John: *after parking in a pool of water* "I turn on my security system."
All the other PCs declare stepping off the water-logged road and onto the dry, sheltered sidewalk. Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 00:18:15 (CDT)In 15 years of gaming, I've GMed for players from Britain, The Netherlands, America, Singapore, Australia, Malaysia, Germany, France, Canada and Sweden -- all I can say is that players are dumb the world over! :-)
PCs being confronted by Lowfyr after breaking in to one of his labs.
Street Sam: "It's okay, don't worry - we just want the chip. Nobody will get hurt if they don't try to be hero!"
One of the other PCs drops his head to the tabletop and begins to moan as he bangs it repeatedly. Johnny Demonic
- Wednesday, April 21, 1999 at 00:13:58 (CDT)Our gaming channel (Undernet's #S-Run) recieves some newbie players one evening. Here's a sample of just how green these boys were:
* Arto uses a tranq patch.
GM(OOC): Arto, that will put you to sleep.
Arto(OOC): umm... stim patch?
GM(OOC): tranq = tranquillizer The SuperFly
- Tuesday, April 20, 1999 at 23:17:22 (CDT)"Psychobitch!" - Twitch, our shaman, upon hearing the all-too-familiar Irish brogue of the world class mage who (we thought) had sent us back in time. Twitch doesn't like being outclassed by that much mojo. Mendon
- Monday, April 19, 1999 at 20:34:56 (CDT)"Special manufacture."
excuse for ANYTHING like cyber, weapons, hi-tech toys, ect that was hocked for cash
"Ooo, I'm going out looking for butterflies to squash!"
Do NOT take characters through time.
Norcumi
- Sunday, April 18, 1999 at 12:42:55 (CDT)the PCs got sent back to 1999 (actually an expreimental UV node-don't ask)and the GM doesn't really have a plot.
GM: so, what do you guys want to do?
shaman: well, i suppose i could start a cult or something.
sammie: forget that, I'm taking over a country! Maybe go to Italy, make a few friends named Vinnie, get some of the good explosive stuff from em, overthrow the government...
decker: Yeah, me and phear, let's have a world war, who else is coming?!
Norcumi
- Sunday, April 18, 1999 at 12:01:17 (CDT)Phear has just walked into his apartment to find a strange woman sitting on his couch. After pulling his gun on her and she starts smoking.
woman: Sorry, I'm forgetting my manners. Want a ciggarette?
Phear: No. To make my living I need to keep healthy.
deckerOOC: Yeah, that's why he goes to a mechanic weekly.
Norcumi
- Wednesday, April 14, 1999 at 16:14:33 (CDT)What do you call a door that has been locked by a mage?....
Hermetically sealed. :) Mendon
- Sunday, April 11, 1999 at 15:31:32 (CDT)The group just got attacked by three wyverns while crossing the north Sahara and fought them off with the help of a desert spirit and a lot of heavy machinegun fire. Hudson the shaman is wiring a sandblasted wyvern skull to the front of the group's La
nd Rover as Rising Son the troll looks on.
Rising Son:Where do they hide to survive during the real sand storms?
Hudson: *shrug* Real sandstorms don't try to tear your face off. Wylde Chylde
- Tuesday, April 06, 1999 at 09:19:10 (CDT)Speedball: I walk out of the warehouse.
GM: You see an APC pulling up. A heavy-weapons squad with HMGs comes running towards you.
Speedball: I walk back in the warehouse.
GM: As you come back in, you see Kitty holding an assault cannon. She levels it at you.
Speedball: I walk out of the warehouse. Bennyboy
- Sunday, April 04, 1999 at 12:40:16 (CDT)While trying to dispose of thirteen bodies in a moving van.
"If anyone asks were with Docwagon and our freezer broke down."
Lounges-with-foxes
- Thursday, April 01, 1999 at 00:25:31 (CST)GM - " So,...were you REALLY wearing underwear?"
Bort
- Wednesday, March 31, 1999 at 02:38:38 (CST)GM: He's got a cybergun in his mouth. You don't ask.
Angel
- Tuesday, March 30, 1999 at 00:13:35 (CST)GM: The van jerks off..
Players: WHAT?!?!
Angel
- Tuesday, March 30, 1999 at 00:10:28 (CST)GM: Eddie stared at the gecko. The gecko stared at Eddie.
GM-as-Gecko: Eddie. You have been bad.
Angel
- Tuesday, March 30, 1999 at 00:09:37 (CST)After Tabbycat gives himself alcohol poisoning from drinking 2
of malt scotch and assorted antics from the rest of the team:
Grace (amnesiac snake shaman): I need to get first aid, if I'm
going to be patching people up on a constant basis...geez, these
people need a mother...
Reika
- Monday, March 29, 1999 at 18:46:51 (CST)what do you mean 'someone just through a lead brick at me from the roof top?
GM: he had been saving it for just such a special occasion.
FIREFOX121
- Monday, March 29, 1999 at 05:48:16 (CST)after the assult team had entered the three story sat-complex. In attempt to retrieve link codes.... cover providided by sniper(me) from 5th story roof top behind mages abode.
sniper: i follow them up with my sight.
GM: then...?
sniper: scan for movement.
GM: you detect, two windows to left... troll.
sniper: call aimmed shot.
GM: assult team has left throught front entrance. troll stands and moves to window..
sniper: O.K., O.K.... can i see his head?
GM: ye..--
sniper: BANG!!!!
GM: --...ss.
sniper: can i still see it?
FIREFOX121
- Monday, March 29, 1999 at 05:07:51 (CST)TabbyCat: Oh, hey. Once we stop, can any of you mage-types check to find out if someone has a ritual sample of her?
TabbyCat: And Alex and I can check her clothing for bugs, too...
Chatter: Okay. Let me get this straight. We get there, strip her naked, then do strange arcane things to her while you go through her clothes and if she wakes up we tell her it's for her own good? Kinky man, no wonder you have trouble getting a date.
Daemion
- Saturday, March 27, 1999 at 23:23:32 (CST)WyldeChyld: Shalyta, where are my pants?
(Note: He was dating Angel at the time)
Angel
- Saturday, March 27, 1999 at 00:04:00 (CST)Time flies when you're not getting shot at....
Angel
- Friday, March 26, 1999 at 12:43:51 (CST)After hearing sirens and seeing Lone Star squad cars stop in front of
the building, Nocturnal sticks his head out the window and screams:
"It's ok, were shadowrunners."
Archon
- Monday, February 22, 1999 at 00:03:19 (CST)Old Man: We're here to stop Lady Claudia and Gallon.
Lord Silvain: Did you say Gallon?
Death: Yeah, so?
Lord Silvain: It's been years sience I've crossed swords with him. I've spent the better part of my life hunting him and his kind down for what he did to me. When next I meet him I'll cut his immortal heart out and....
interupted by Steel Hawk, who says: I'm his son, Skippy.
Archon
- Sunday, February 21, 1999 at 23:57:09 (CST)"Dude, look, sucking chest wound!!" Parties new mage to other new character after being hunted by a rather insane man on a large island. Highlander
- Sunday, February 21, 1999 at 17:01:23 (CST)"I shoulda given you a better brain when I made you." GM to PC GM
- Sunday, February 21, 1999 at 16:59:42 (CST)All Players:
"frag YOU JOSH!!!!!" Most often heard after our Gm screws us over again. heard at least once per session. Crash and Burn
- Sunday, February 21, 1999 at 16:58:21 (CST)What else does this guy own?! (In reference to assumed identity of
dead Mr Johnson, which he took over, quite by accident, he only wanted the guys money) Crash and Burn
- Sunday, February 21, 1999 at 16:57:05 (CST)I'll use Killing Hands to cauterize this wound.(Resident, not to bright, Phys Ad) Dash
- Sunday, February 21, 1999 at 16:55:17 (CST)Punt the Goblin!!! Punt the Goblin!!!!! GOD
- Sunday, February 21, 1999 at 16:53:35 (CST)Oh Neil..... Come out and play!!!
(At which point his nemesis Black Ice Came out to play and was subsequently obliterated{20 dice on a 10D attack program}) Crash and Burn(Decker)
- Sunday, February 21, 1999 at 16:38:18 (CST)GabeWhite: Can we kill him please?
WyldChyld: that was never a question
Daemion
- Friday, February 19, 1999 at 22:24:47 (CST)After bearly surviving a run that our GM dubbed "drekfest '56 World
Tour" (And he wasn't kidding) our team finds itself confronted by a
giant. The GM asked everyone in turn what they were going to do. Everyone
basically admitted defeat and chose to give up, until it was Hardliner's
turn. His responce was "I have a mini-gun."
Blizzard
- Friday, February 19, 1999 at 17:59:01 (CST)In order to avoid being captured by the cops who are invading his home
(coincidentally, in the middle of a shower) Hardliner decides to hang out
the window.
GM; They notice your hands on the windowsill. Now watcha gonna do?
Hardliner; I shoot them.
GM; How? With what? You're naked (shudders) and hanging out the window with both hands. Where's your gun?
Hardliner; (Thinking quickly) I hung it on the Capt. before I jumped out the window.
GM OOC; Eric you do realize that your character carries a mini-gun, right?
Hardliner OOC; (As confidant and smug as ever, leaning back in his chair)
I know.
G M; (After the round of groaning, thinks equally quick. He rules 5 dice
and they all come up 5's and 6's) If you can bat that, I'll let you do a
target test. (Our GM has a unique abilite to always roll high numbers. He
learned it in boot camp)
Hardliner; (After rolling all 2's and 3's plus one 1) Ah drek, it's
stuck.
Blizzard
- Friday, February 19, 1999 at 17:45:31 (CST)So here we were, confronting the object of our run, a shiny golden
coloured katana that most of us had figured OOC was a weapon focus
of high power. A street shaman picks it up.
Shaman: I examine the scabbard.
GM: (Rolling some dice) It sends a chill down your spine. You can
feel it's power coursing through you. You see that the
scabbard seems to be covered with some sort of runes.
Shaman: I use my knowledge of magical theory to identify the
weapon by reading the runes.
(Rolls 6 dice, rolls a whole drekload of ones.)
GM: YES! You make out the runes one-by-one. It spells out it's
origin! It says M-A-D-E-I-N-T-A-I-W-A-N.
Ronin
- Friday, February 19, 1999 at 08:25:53 (CST)Let's set the sceen. The characters have the giant kiwi fruit, and
some spiders have managed to hatch from them as they're in the air flying
away in a plane. The mage is preparing to cast manaball when the
characters declair too:
Idiot: I'll plug a spider with my (dramatic pause) BARRET 121!!!
Bigger idiot: I'll spray a full auto burst with my Ingram Smartgun with APDS!!!
Biggest idiot: I'll throw a grenade!!!
The end result was the end of the plane falling off and the characters
falling to their deaths, but hey, the world was a smarter place
afterwards. Pitty the mage died...
Zoshi
- Friday, February 12, 1999 at 21:18:57 (CST)A particularly tough security run eventually got the stealthy
character through all the security nonsense, up a third story building,
and through a window. The theory was that while the decker hacked the
system via a satellite uplink, the stealth character would steal some
valuable art pieces, covering up the true purpose of the theft.
Stealth Char to Theora the Decker: Ah, Theora, you're logged in. Can you
turn off the security on these art pieces? I deactivated the electrical
pulse security measure, but I can't deactivate the pressure sensitive
plate it's sitting on.
Theora to Stealth Char: Er, I could, but why not take that flower pot,
fill it with 6 pens, the paperweight on the desk, and a handful of
paperclips?
Stealth Char to Theora (following Theora's advice, pausing before
substituting the art piece for the potted plant and contents): I just
seriously hope a giant boulder doesn't start chasing me.
Dreme
- Friday, February 12, 1999 at 16:58:16 (CST)Marneus : Hey you could go shinede snicede with your retractable
spurs,
Morgan : Hey ixnay on the on the spurs'ay, these spurs are about as illegal as the 12 year old you had sex with last night,
Marneus : she said she was a dwarf,
Morgan : yeah, but when she said, "i want 24 inches until my nose
bleeds," she didnt mean punch her in the nose and do her 12 times.
Rain
- Friday, February 12, 1999 at 03:34:41 (CST)Get away from the salad bar!
You had to see the game my GM put me through. I had alian fruit trying to kill me, so even though I'm an elf, fruit is not my friend.
T.A.M.
- Thursday, February 11, 1999 at 14:27:04 (CST)"yea i think i got him lets take a closer look then once we think he
is dead lets turn our backs on him"
(in reference to what people do when they kill somthing )
Rico
- Sunday, January 31, 1999 at 16:27:11 (CST)Well jump for Jesus over a bald-headed palmino!!
Our decker's (Hardliner) responce to learning that we get to blow up Wal-Mart (again). Blizzard
- Wednesday, January 27, 1999 at 17:03:03 (CST)You´re gonna do WHAT???
Me, on just about anything my gaming group is planning/doing.
Bionic Marine
- Friday, January 22, 1999 at 18:52:31 (CST)Same Troll PC: I tear the boot off the car.
GM: roll a strength test, What do you get.
Troll: rolls 23 dice, "9 threes, 11 2's, and 12 1's" (OOC, is there any team karma left)
GM: Ummm, you failed because.....you tore the skin off your fingers.
The Mac
- Friday, January 22, 1999 at 02:56:41 (CST)DM:Grench you are now plumiting off the top of the building, below
you, onley a pool and some parked cars.
GRENCH:What's the target number to land on one of the cars.
REST OF THE GROUP:Stuned indifrence.
Damage Inc. part one
Redfoot
- Wednesday, January 20, 1999 at 01:15:31 (CST)"Oh no, not again."
Bart on the subject of explosive decompression
(A long story that should be told but is way to long for this place)
Bionic Marine
- Tuesday, January 19, 1999 at 17:53:00 (CST)(This was OOC, between our group and a particularly idiotic player)
Player one(Resident Rule Reference for the GM): Um... Prone position
is +2 to difficulty...
GM (To Player Two): Are you laying prone?
Player Two: No, I'm lying down.
(This was followed by groans, and about fifteen minutes of explaining
what the hell "prone" means) Party Animal
- Friday, January 15, 1999 at 09:00:36 (CST)"What manner 'o beastie are ye?"
said in refrence to nearly anything paranormal,
just before the Dwarf went into combat,
RAIN
- Thursday, January 14, 1999 at 17:07:03 (CST)Blizzard to GM (OOC): Tom, let's discuss proximity. Shall we?
GM: What do you mean? Proximity of what?
Bizzard: How about the proximity of my elbow to your face and how it can rapidly decrease into negative digits.
Conversation between me and our GM (Obviously) when he finally followed through on his three year old threat to find a way to hide 40 trolls behind a shrub
Blizzard
- Wednesday, January 13, 1999 at 17:05:46 (CST)Lao Wang (our phys adept): DAMMIT, my Johnson is a dick!!
Necro-Psykoguy
- Sunday, January 10, 1999 at 01:00:11 (CST)"Quack!!"
-My teams codeword for when the troll (me) loses his glasses Seeker
- Saturday, January 09, 1999 at 18:25:56 (CST)"My character just orked in the middle of the night and his girlfriend
left him."
-Eric/Bladefist explaining his character. Seeker
- Saturday, January 09, 1999 at 18:25:17 (CST)After heading off into the wilderness near seattle to gather some
magical supplies Doubt(All-round Paranoid Psycho)and Hatch(His girlfriend,a woman of low moral virtue) end facing off against a large amout of awakened beasties...after slaughtering said
awakened beasties...Doubt and Hatch return to the city...when asked by
us how it went...Doubt summed it all up with..."You know guys...Nature
Sucks"!
Cossack
- Friday, January 08, 1999 at 02:28:24 (CST)Lhyn, team sniper and general annoyance, is sitting in the team's truck with his Scottish claymore when a grenade lands in the back floor. Like anybody else, he jumps from the truck.
Lhyn: (OOC) Should I ask for Hand O' God intervention now or wait and burn off Karma.
GM: Well, as you're jumping from the truck, the grenade explodes...filling the truck with sillystring.
Lhyn: (IC, over radio) Kraken, I think we have a problem...
After chasing the practical joking magician onto the roof of the hotel the team is staying in, the magician uses an illusion of a Smurf on the edge of the roof as a distraction:
Kraken: (OOC) If he's as nuch of a practical joker as he seems, he'll go for this:
(IC) If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?
The Smurf apparition starts choking and turns purple, but the magician doesn't give away his location.
Kraken deduces that the magician is hiding behind the small shed-like structure on the roof of the hotel.
Kraken: I use my hunting rifle to shoot through the structure.
GM: The Nerf bullet bounces harmlessly off the sheet metal.
Kraken: She-it! Okay, I drop the rifle and pull out my pistol and shoot through the shed.
GM: (Rolling dice) The volatile chemicals within the shed explode, slamming you back against the stairwell door.
Kraken: Who in their right mind keeps volatile chemicals on the roof?
GM: Better there than in a closet in the building. Besides, who accused the hotel staff of being in their right minds? ShadowLancer
- Monday, January 04, 1999 at 02:33:42 (CST)Surrounded by a bunch of trained assassins, our resident gun-toting
ork, in an attempt to kill of the mage of the group, fires off
two 3-round bursts from his uzi at the mage. Meanwhile, Goro the
Troll PhysAd is merrily approaching from the round the corner to
the alley where the team was. The exchange went something like this.
QR: I Blast the Mage. Two 3-round bursts.
(Rolls Dice. Results in 11D+1 and 11S or something awesome like that.)
GM: (Rolling dice behind a screen) The bullets bounce harmlessly
off a invisible force.
QR: Drek! The mage has a barrier spell anchored!
Goro: Bah'riah dis...(Rolling 3 grenades onto the feet of the mage)
(Goro speaks like that.)
Goro
- Friday, January 01, 1999 at 08:26:31 (CST)
