Throughout a game the dwarf Rigger keeps looking for/ buying random parts including huge helocopter blades, a school bus, armor plating.... Needless to say I was a bit interested by the time the flying school bus was constructed. And, wrecked one day later.
Specter

This is in response to Johnny Demonic's quote "him sword, me gun" further down.
Bit o' background JD didn't mention:
Ian had taken a hit from a silenced sniper rifle...
The trigger man, honourable huh? Sure chumlichen... thank God for damage compensators and layered armor!
Ian's good with a sword? No omae, monofilament whip and spurs... ah well it was back in '89 or so, recalls' not so good neh, JD?
The mono-fillet whip has a tendency to kill it's users when they chalk up enough hurts. Ian was hurting.
Ian had 8 rounds of APDS left in his M20t Ingram smartgun...
And to sum it all up in one of Ian's quotes:
"I'm just a decker."


Mirage "Decker with an Attitude!"

The electronics specialist in the group had just gotten cosmetic surgery and a new SIN with the help of the team's decker and decided to make his re-appearance in the group.

Cat Shaman: (to Electronics Specialist) Who the frag are you?
Electronics Specialist: Oh... Hi I'm Quinton...
Decker interupting: Quin!
Electronics Specialist: Oh uh... Quin.
Dandemented

Eon to Luddington, "Someone needs to shave Krass's head and use his hair as experimental flac vest material."
The Great Krass

From the Proboards:

Front to Back, Back to Front, I'm a Front/Back Yak!

Krass sent me a nice note whilst I was away to the Land of Retards.

Krass: HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO GET YOUR HANDS ON MY DONG?
Going through my suitcase I just found 50,000 Dong, left over from my Vietnam trip. If anyone wants, I’ll post you them. Never let it be said that Devlin Krass has no dong and isn't more than willing to share it with the world.

UPDATE two days later: Don’t bother. It's not even worth $5. Turns out I’m not as long on dong as I thought.


Gobwit: "I'm not so sure I would want any of Krass's dong anyway, you would never know where it's been."

Xenomarch, "Krondax next time you seek to commit suicide, you continue to rag on My Gully Dwarf family. I will toss a Fireball so far up your hoop that you will finally be able to see whats on your mind!"

Pelch Gobwit in a high squeaky feminine voice, which is hard for such a manly dwarf, "MY HERO! Um Xeno, elf biffs don't have a mind but you will be lighting up a darkness as vast as space, the final frontier, to boldly go where every drekking troll has been before in spirit and in truth."

Punt the Goblin!!! Punt the Goblin!!!!!
GOD

(the party was softening up the defenses in a small office building before trying to rescue a hostage inside. They had found a portable rocket launcher to do this with and were using their last rockets to take out floors at random.)
Mage (OOC): "wait a minute, which floor did you say the hostage was on?"
GM: *mutters something to the mage, sitting next to him*
Player (OOC): "what did he say?"
Mage (IC): "OK boys and girls, we can go home now."
Archer

Myschief, having had a bad day in which his hair was first cut,
then burned off by a backlashed spell, then his nipples and
eyebrows burned off and then everything grown back, but bright
electric blue, then his clothes disappeared by a Water spirit
which possessed him and made him walk into the bay... now asks
his familiar, Zoltan (a raven), for some clothes.
Myschief: Zoltan... get me some clothes. Please?
Zoltan: Nevermore!

Tora No Shi

Eon to Krass after looking at his charts, "I have finally discovered your problem. It appears that your Ying and Yang are out of balance because you have been spending to much time on your Yang." She pulled out a Cougar FineBlade, "I suggest radical and immediate surgery."

Krass runs screaming down the hall.
The Great Krass

Krass is driving a get-a-way car down the road with the others encouraging him by pointing out how poorly he is doing it. Finally Lone Star manages to pull him over.

Lone Star Cop, angrily "Who the frag do you think you are?"

Krass, "We're a circus."

Lone Star, "Huh?"

Krass nodds, "Yep a Circus. We have a wimpy money sucker (Drassel), a female chinese oversexed dwarf (Eon), a not to holy but honest padre (Luddington), a daffodil eater that does magic tricks for bar drinks (Ronilion), an a female impersonator (JoAnne) and I'm the ring master and zoo keeper."

Lone Star, "You are going to jail."
The Great Krass

"Happiness is a belt-fed weapon...and a keg."
Copper's Elite's....Kinda.

OOC: JoAnne, "Surprise Fatman! You just came out with the holo and I want another report. I'll bet you haven't got another one. If you don't I want Karma fro catching the GM off guard!"

OOC: Ronilion, "Won't work JoAnne."

OOC: Fatman, "As you wish."

Highbrow lady artist announcer in tie dye Zoe business suit and Reebok sneakers:

"Performance artist Tomoko Takahashi, 39, working on a British government grant of the equivalent of about 8,600 NuYen, gave an exhibition of inebriation in October at the Chapter arts center in Cardiff, Wales. Dressed in tres chic business suit and high heels, Takahashi drank a large amount of beer over a three-hour period, periodically checking to see how far she could walk across a narrow beam about two feet off the floor without falling. A Chapter spokesman called the demonstration a "powerful piece of art."

JoAnne, "Drat! How many of these does he prepare each game?"

Ronilion, "We're not sure, Krass did query him up to 25 one night and then gave up. Twenty Five in a night takes up to much game time. As for the artist mentioned above, I'd like to meet her. Anyone woman who can drink beer for three hours, walk a beam and NOT go to the can is a woman worth meeting."
The Great Krass

Drassel to Krass, "So you want to take the Tir and Indian Lands using eminent domain. What's your plan?"

Krass, "The traditional one. I have a traditional Thanksgiving dinner where I invite the neighbors over for dinner. Then I kill them and take their land!"
The Great Krass

Krass walks into the office with a cat sitting backwatd on his shoulder. Spying JoAnne and Eon he points at the cat's ass and say's in his best pirate voice, "This here be my one eyed parrot!"
The Great Krass

Hey Fat Guy, Krass and Eon... I wanted to thank you guys for your support of my website... since the last time Fat Guy and Krass posted, I gained about 7 new members.. and im getting guests constantly.. I didnt want you guys to think I didnt appriciate everything you guys have done and I do hope to see you guys around from time to time.. Jon Griff was really awesome and Ive taken the liberty to post some of your adventures on my website in the humor section.. I know they will get as much of a kick out of it as I have.. thanks for helping to make www.theshadowrun.proboards7.com the biggest shadowrun PBP site.. and again.. I do hope to see you guys from time to time..

we have 1 game going and 2 or 3 more people getting prepared to run some campaigns soon so I hope to be posting some good adventures here soon
Xtreme

...During planning of a full frontal assault on a corporate compound...

Kable:"I mean, if we only blew up the barracks and the security station, wouldn't it look suspicious?"
Brief pause.
Everyone erupts laughing.
Kable turns purple.
Ilushenka

GOOD,BAD I'M THE ONE WITH THE GUN
darr

Background: Party Animal, consummate Coyote shaman (look it up) is called
in by a runner team (the rest of the players) for magical backup by a
friend of his within the team... He gets the tour of their HQ, and meets
their security rigger (a dwarf named Mr. French), who is hooked into the
machinery.

PA: (Sees the rigger) Wow, that computer has a strange fleshy outgrowth
on it! And it has a beard, too!
(Later into the introduction)
Falcon (Physical Magician, friend to PA who called him in): This is
our security rigger, Mr. French...
PA (OOC): Hey, is he British?
Mr. French (OOC): Yeah...
PA (IC): Hey, where's Buffy and Jody?
(Yes, this player, me, has seen WAY too much TV LAND)
Party Animal

Rings(streetSam) is trying to Steal a Zeitgeist prototype attack Helicopter from a High security Corporate enclosure and thus make good the groups escape::
Rings: "Ok flip these switches, push that button and here we go!"
Daus Ex(the groups decker): "YOU KNOW YOU DOING! TAKE OFF EVERY ZIG!!"
Sapphireknight

One member of my group always chooses the stupidest street handles for his characters. To date there have been:
Groove Daddy the vampire slayer
Scott Summers
speed racer
Hershey's Caramel
More later....
Head Houngan of the carribean league

So, 'bout dese meta planes you're goin' to. They have lots of hamburgers wit real meat. right?
Wall

"Stay chill, never get close, if you get close you get soft, then you get dead. Never take runs personally, always pack reloads, and for libidos sake, and despite what the catalogue says, a vigilant rotary auto-cannon should not be standard gear."

BlackJack, irritated street sam who constantly has to run with guys who thinks strength is a good subsitute for skill and finesse
BlackJack

OK guys, to get into team you need to check if the ghoul leader is
dead or he manage to survive our Assault C. (heh)
vujnovic@etfos.hr

<b>The group just got attacked by three wyverns while crossing the north Sahara and fought them off with the help of a desert spirit and a lot of heavy machinegun fire. Hudson the shaman is wiring a sandblasted wyvern skull to the front of the group's Land Rover as Rising Son the troll looks on.<br/>
<br/>
Rising Son:Where do they hide to survive during the real sand storms?<br/>
Hudson: *shrug* Real sandstorms don't try to tear your face off.</b><br/>
<a href="mailto:dmcneill@stevens-tech.edu">Wylde Chylde</a><br/>

Eon, irritated, glared in his direction. “How can anyone still keep talking while their puking and dizzy?” She groused at the rest of the team.

“That’s nothing new,” stated Drassel seriously, “I think Krass would be still talking even if he lost his head. They say the same thing happened to Rasputin when they chopped off his head, he mumbled for sometime afterward. Although it wasn’t reported what he was actually saying at the time.”

From the other side of the couch Krass looked up and stared pointedly at Eon’s chest, “It’s a dead heat in the Zeppelin Race today.” He then ducked back down as Eon looked confused and then shocked as she realized what Krass was referring to. Her face slowly turned red.

Drassel moved his head in negation, “No Krass, I don’t think Rasputin said that, they didn’t have Zeppelin’s in his day.”
The Great Krass

"when in doubt-empty the magazine"
phoenix

Bytes (Decker, Scholar, and man who keeps forgetting that he's not playing AD&D) :" Jump on my sword while you can Evil, I shall not be so forgiving"
Mr Johnson

painiac (OOC): "Why are there pubes in the dice box?!"

Ronilion visiting Krass at the hospital notes the runner is in traction. It appears he has been making comments to the nurses. "Every time you open your mouth you stick both feet in. You have to stop making those comments to Eon or she is going to kill you."

Krass shruggs, "It's her fault."

Ronilion confused, "You did send her the hammocks right? She didn't do anything to you before that. How is it her fault?"

Krass, "Well she was wearing this dress you see and it looked like someone had poured her into it."

Ronilion now more confused, "I don't understand."

"Well, I told her that it looked like no one had stopped pouring." finished Krass with a smile. Ronilion shook his head in disgust.
The Great Krass

PLAYER:I kick the big mean looking thing right in the throat.
(lots of dice rolls)
GM: yea, you hit him but id doesn't seem to have any effect.
PLAYER: No effect? What the hell do you mean no effect!!!!! I kick him again, harder!!!!!!
gilgamesh

Drassel to JoAnne, "Krass must have a really heavy date this evening. He's wearing his Lion King T-shirt."
The Great Krass

Ronilion to Eon, OK I give up. How in Cuyic's Seventh Hell is Krass's limo different than a porcupine?"

Eon, "With a porcupine the pricks are on the outside."
The Great Krass

Titan (the big, chromed dwarf with an itchy trigger finger) and Riker (the very professional Elf assasin) have been told to asassinate a megacrop exec who is currently having lunch in on an outdoor table in a cafe. The plan was to sniper him from a disused office in the Texas Book depository accross the street.
Riker has his sniper rifle trained on the exec's forehead.
Titan:You okay, mate? You seem a little shaky...
Riker:I'm-m-m f-f-f-fine
Titan:*looks into cup he's holding* This soycaf tastes like drek!
Riker:S-s-shutup-p-p, you're distractine m-m-me!
*Riker shoots rifle 5 times. All misses. He throws down the rifle in frustration*
Riker:Damn s-s-soycaf!!!!!
Titan:Screw this. Let's just use the C4!
Riker:Fine. But first I need to go to the toilet.

Titan & Riker

The Great Krass:

From the St Patrick's Game: Not all the Snakes are in Ireland!

GM: Mad NPC Husband Levels Spas 12 auto-shotgun on Krass, "You Bastahd! You slept with my wife and molested my daughter, drank my booze, and ran up all my bills. You lost me my job and took everything for back taxes. Your dead Meat!"

Drassel, standing between Krass and the angry man. "You will have to shoot through me first ."

Krass, surprised, "You'd take a bullet for me? What loyalty."

Drassel to Krass "No, I just said that because it sounded good. I hope your wearing your Kevlar today. " He steps to the side out of the line of fire. "Fire away my good man."

Boogiepop (OOC): I know your character's weakness. She's afraid of Spiders.

Collector (OOC): How does your character know that?

Boogiepop (OOC): Because I saw her running from the Spider drones in Renraku.

Collector (OOC): ... 2 things. 1: My character was invisible, and 2: EVERYBODY was running from the Spider drones.
Mojo Jojo 42

After meeting a Johnson and discovering that the group vehicle has been replaced by a pizza van (which is then thoroughly searched, leaving the discovery of a mountain of pizzas), and driving off in it.

GM: Vroom, vroom. The Bulldog wheels off the side of the streets without incident. Behind you a pizza delivery man chases the van, screaming inaudibly, before throwing his cellphone at you.

Krass speaking as Mayor of Seattle to the press, "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our people, and neither do we."
The Great Krass

Krass has again run into the Vampire he met earlier. Drassel is no where in sight.

Vampire: "Now little human. I will drink your blood to satisfy by uholy thirst. Do you have any last words?"

Krass, "How about we both go the the beach and work on the tan?"
The Great Krass

Talia(Panther[leopard] Shapeshifter, 19, and being referred to as a dyke) and Kit(Fox Shapeshifter, 17, and a charisma of 8).

Talia: Well, I suppose we should get out of here now.
Kit: Your box or mine?
Talia: I think I'll go after your box, first. *wink*
Kerish

I told you not to push the red button!!!!!
All runners on that mission died

The team encountered several half starved and meanwhile cannibalistic
Execs at the entrance to the command bunker, 20 floors below Renraku Arcology.
Carlos(Mage): I cast a barrier.
Will(Rigger) "Ladies and Gentlemen, STOP! We got food for you! But NOONE, I repeat, noone is going to eat ANYONE!"
Tom(Mage/Spy): "I'll get some stuff from the icehouse we just came through, right?"
Ray'n(Wolf Shaman): "What good is that? Three hours min before the frozen stuff's edible."

2 minutes later, as 20 Soy-Burgers were floating and sizzling in front
of a carefully placed Fire Elemental:

Carlos:"Ladies and Gents, see the amazing Carlos and his flying BBQ!"
Samuraiburger

spoken in a high falsetto voice"It's Big gun Time!"
Panzer

[Grevan] (OOC), "We zoom in on a handsome, charming man..."
[Desdemona] (OOC), "...picking his nose"

Nappy loves Silos( a caster), who is, at the moment, Going through his room at Nappys house.

Nappy to Silos "you should stop going through my drawers... and start going through my Drawers."
Norm Al

It ain't over 'till the fat lady gets her limbs whacked off and sold to an organlegger! (the group was fighting a heavily cybered female assasin)
Rahvin

The Great Krass:

Mao got out of the front and smiled and tipped his hat brim politely. "Need help with your bag miss?" He grabbed the struggling Pelch as well and helped Widow chuck him into the boot! He slammed the door quickly down.

"I've always wanted a Trunk Monkey." Stated Wheels with a grimace, "but now I have to clean the trunk and the car interior. The drek just never lets up does it?" He looks a Quicksilver, "I'll get you for this."

Quicksilver shrugged, "Just drive will you? It's been a long fragging day and we're all tired and need a rest."

Reference:

http://www.trunkmonkeyad.com/"

*A Fire Elemental manifests inside a room where Cloak is guarding the beauty contestants.
Hunter (Wolf Shaman): (OOC) At least they'll get a tan.
The Wall: (OOC) I don't think extra-tasty crispy is a tanned condition.

Note: Cloak succeeded in beating off the Elemental with his bare hands.

Gabriel

PA:"Oh, fun. Another job to get us potentially killed."
Party Animal, Coyote Shaman

Party Animal

Luddington has observed JoAnne talking to a customer. The woman is in tears and she is thanking JoAnne profusely for the service she has received. After she has Left the curious Luddington approaches JoAnne.

Luddington, "A statisfied customer? Unusual for this corporation."

JoAnne, nodding smiles, "Mr Drassel handled her divorce case. Her husband had pictures and testimony and she would have probably not have gotten anything. As it was she walked away with it all."

Luddington in shock and despair, "You mean?"

JoAnne, nodding, "The only time a bloodsucking lawyer looks good is when he is handling your divorce."
The Great Krass