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Pro/Ghana take 2
December 21, 2004 ( life )
I keep maing a decision, and then changing my mind. I'm choosing between a complete unknown and a partially-unknown.
I've spent a while thinking pro-Austin, and was convinced that Ghana was the obvious choice. I've spent the past 2 days planning to go to Ghana, and am having serious second thoughts about it. A lot of it boils down to plain whineyness -- I'm not ready to go back to being a volunteer again. I like ubiquitous Internet. I like being able to walk with my laptop and not fear of having it stolen. Hell, I like being able to walk around and not be in fear of a hold-up. I like not sweating constantly. I like the casual inherent wealth of Austin (albeit, that's comparitive to my previous living situation).
But does this wimpyness mean that I'm not cut out for development work? Does it destroy the "me" that I've been constructing? Or am I just fucking tired of the shit I went through in Jamaica, and fearful that returning to another formerly British post-colonial nation with a huge history of slave-trade would be another Jamaica? I do not want to have to argue with some a-hole who blocks my cell phone number about whether my water is turned off or not on a daily basis. I've been there, it wasn't fun.
And, of course, most international development workers I knew in Jamaica got fat money compared to the local economy, live in nice places with big water tanks, had cars, AC, etc. etc. etc. so maybe these I'm-not-worthy worries are pointless anyway.
That being said, I'd prolly be living it a hotel there, with AC is likely, with a lot more money than the PCVs in the area get.
I want to have done it, but I don't know about wanting to do it. Historically, every decision that is between "new experience" and anything else, the right choice is the new experience. Also, whenever I suck it up and jump in to something, I do well and have a fine time of it. But inexplicably the more times I do this, the harder it becomes to keep doing it.
| Ghana | Austin | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| PRO | CON | PRO | CON |
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I realize a few of those con-Ghana/pro-Austin are terribly bourgeoisie. In the case of the Embassy staff comment, I did compare it to Jamaica responses, which were scarily enough more positive. My only reply is that I've dealt with worse, for two years, and have no immediate interest in having to deal with it more.
Safety comparisons: A lot of people have given me crap about my potentially skewed view of safety in the States. Let me give some examples of why this is total BS: open coat racks (i.e. no attendant) -- they exist, and aren't totally ransacked. Also, at a club in Boston, I inadvertently left 2 pair of nice gloves and a beautiful scarf and a hat on a bench (they fell out of the bundle of junk I was compiling to check). I disappeared to a completely different part of the club, danced for a while, came back, and not only were they still sitting on the bench in this crowded club, someone had folded the damn scarf.
Posted by griffjon at December 21, 2004 09:11 PM
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