Paragon Quotes

Party to DM, commenting on a hotel's menu: "Wyvern steaks?":
DM: "Y'all guys are on the edge of Trall-Goth, which has some really nasty monsters, some of which taste great!"
posted by Griff Jon at 11:37 PM

Whit: "If the wife starts hassling me when I return, I'll bitch-slap her"
Rihana (OOC): "That'll provoke an attack of opportunity..."
posted by Griff Jon at 11:36 PM

Fatima (OOC) : Yeah, if we can buy True Ressurrections, I'm all for killing the dragon
posted by Griff Jon at 11:34 PM

Ashrem: The didn't die. That's not a lesson
posted by Griff Jon at 11:34 PM

Whit: (After tumbling into a wall of force cast last round) "Whit rubs his 11 wisdom and gets back in line"
posted by Griff Jon at 11:56 AM

Fatima (OOC): "Have a mechanical pencil, motherfucker"
posted by Griff Jon at 11:55 AM

Whit: "Frosted like a Kroger birthday cake" (on an attack by WinterWolves)
posted by Griff Jon at 11:55 AM

"The good, the bad, and the really shiny" -- Sanantha
posted by Griff Jon at 11:55 AM

Rihanna: "Does anyone here speak "hick"?
Lobar: "I think I speak a dialect..."
posted by Griff Jon at 11:55 AM

Sanantha: I can now remove disease 4 times a week! Let's go fight werewolves!
Grayn: You think of different things to do when you have that ability four times a week
Sanantha: ... ... Oh! Rihana.
posted by Griff Jon at 11:54 AM

Whit: "...I'm just gonna stop talking now"
Fatima: " He's the greater doppelganger! Kill him!"
posted by Griff Jon at 11:54 AM

Shai'Halad (OOC) : "Ah, the healing power of the snatch"
posted by Griff Jon at 11:54 AM

Fatima to Shai'Halad, our new Psionicist: "Can't you wipe out his memory?"
Shai'Halad "Sure!" (Commands dominated slave to kill him)
posted by Griff Jon at 11:54 AM

Lobar (half-orc) :"My Mom was raped by an Orc..."
posted by Griff Jon at 11:51 AM

Malakon: "It's my birthday! I'm 19 now"
Labrinnon: (elf) "You people are all so young"
Grayn: "That's 190 in elfyears"
posted by Griff Jon at 11:51 AM

Guard: "We only have one inn in the town, but it's a good inn. In fact it's called The Good Inn"
Keith: "Is it fire resistant?"
posted by Griff Jon at 11:51 AM

[Rihana tries to place a transmuted chair inter her glove of storing, and it fails]
Whit: "We FINALLY found something!"
Party: "what?"
Whit: "something that doesn't want to go in Rihanna!"
posted by Griff Jon at 11:50 AM

Grayn (OOC, looking at char. sheet): "What was I looking for again?"
Labrinnon: (OOC) "Spot"
posted by Griff Jon at 11:50 AM

DM: (on whether good-appearing characters are dops or not) "So, if they're all greater doppelgangers, you're fine"
Rihana (OOC) " No, if they're all greater doppelgangers, we're FUCKED"
posted by Griff Jon at 11:49 AM

Bramblebeard [Referring to a Beholder Mage] "I want to be able to do that!"
DM: "Yes, but the prerequisite for that class is being a beholder"
Whit: "And a fat dwarf with a big eye painted on his chest doesn't count"
Bramblebeard: "I'll paste on some eye stalks..."
Whit: "That's not an eyestalk. Put it up."
posted by Griff Jon at 9:06 AM

DM: "What's the range of the Message spell?"
Ashrem: "Depends on your service plan"
posted by Griff Jon at 9:04 AM

[Alarm goes off]
Group: "Where's Whit?"
posted by Griff Jon at 9:03 AM

"Rihanna has an extra-dimensional pocket" -- Sanantha
posted by Griff Jon at 9:03 AM

"I'm just going to go to a corner and twitch now" -- Sanantha (Paladin)
posted by Griff Jon at 8:13 PM

"T'marrack, you have Elemental Knowledge, don't you?" --Thea
"Yeah, naturally" --T'marrack
"So, what's hot enough to melt stone?" --Thea
"Really hot fire" --DM
posted by Griff Jon at 8:13 PM

"Yeah, what's a dwarf without armor?" --Lobar
"A hairy midget." -- Ashrem
"Shut up! I hate the 'm' word!" --Bramblebeard
posted by Griff Jon at 8:50 PM

"Empire first, village SECOND."
--Fatima
posted by Griff Jon at 8:49 PM

"If you cast Silence on a rock that falls in a pool of lava, does it make a sound?"
-Labrinnon
posted by Griff Jon at 8:49 PM

"Clangeddin gives you the holy high finger!"
--Bramblebeard
posted by Griff Jon at 8:48 PM

"Why don't you let me do this?" --Whit
"Because you'll try and sell them fruit!" -Thea
posted by Griff Jon at 8:46 PM

"What's a quiver for the good of the Empire?"
posted by Griff Jon at 8:46 PM

"I'm not going to be hit by a Salamander!"
--Fatima
posted by Griff Jon at 8:46 PM

"Don't leave a rhino behind"
--Labrinnon
posted by Griff Jon at 8:45 PM

"I guess I'll fireball the god..."
--Labrinnon
posted by Griff Jon at 8:45 PM

You fireball and I'll lightning bolt-- true resurrections for everybody!"
--Ashrem to Labrinnon
posted by Griff Jon at 8:45 PM

"I'll throw in a blowjob if that'll help"
--Sanantha
posted by Griff Jon at 8:45 PM

Grayn: "Aren't we a little young to be fighting avatars??"
Thea, sarcastically: "It's only the avatar of a demigod..."
posted by Griff Jon at 3:45 PM

"He's trying to use produce again"
--Sanantha, talking about Whit
posted by Griff Jon at 12:50 PM

"A blue dragon is just a blue dragon, sure. It'll KILL us!"
posted by Griff Jon at 11:50 AM

"Watch out for the hippo traps"
--Labrinnon
posted by Griff Jon at 11:49 AM

"I would take a different five foot step..."
--Thea
posted by Griff Jon at 11:49 AM

GM: "You can't charm someone into confessing to multiple mass murders."
Rihanna's Player: "Yes you can, it's just an opposed charisma roll."
posted by Griff Jon at 11:48 AM

Grayn: "We need some smelling badgers"
Labrinnon: "Badgers? we don't need no stinkin badgers!"
posted by Griff Jon at 11:47 AM

"Is Whit talking again?"
--Sanantha
posted by Griff Jon at 11:46 AM

Apples!
--Whit
posted by Griff Jon at 8:50 PM

That's True. Dwarves are not known for their jumping.
--Player of Balfour / Lobar
posted by Griff Jon at 8:39 PM

Suckage: Harpies with Fireballs.
posted by Griff Jon at 8:39 PM