Fatima's Diary

reflections for the lost

54. Stone Paper Knife

Not that I felt guilty, because my heart knows no guilt, and it is not that I felt shame, because my will bears no shame. I shall never speak nor think a lie; it was to express my sisterly love and admiration for Sanantha that I had a vision during a dream, a foretelling as the Roma call it, where a glittering circlet of light and brilliance rested upon her brow, and down upon me she looked and smiled, something within or behind her eyes like a fiery light. When I awoke from that dream, I went out looking for the most accomplished craftsman of gems and fine metals I could find. In short order I was referred to someone who admitted he wasn't the best, that another one was, and on and on until late in the afternoon I found myself describing a platinum and diamond tiara to an aged elven metalsmith, who asked a dear price I was, of course, willing to pay. I believe that my description of the dream, and of Sanantha herself, touched his old heart and inspired a beautiful idea in his wise mind. He looked into my lavender eyes and bid me to bide my time in his sitting room. I was examining tales of the elven cities written in the old High Tongue; when deep into the night, he came in from his forge. Within a shadowwood and velvet box, he revealed under the night sky the most beautiful circlet I have ever beheld. I held it up and, in the light of the stars, it glowed against the dark skin of my hands. Gently touched by the starlight the diamonds shone, embraced and peacefully held within the finest platinum, finer and lighter than I had ever imagined. I thanked him from deep within my heart and kissed him on both cheeks in amazement of his craftsmanship. He said my lavender eyes reminded him of his violet-eyed wife, many years taken from him. I believe that creating such a beautiful object as a gift filled him with joy.

The tiara looked perfectly as I had beheld in my dream upon Sanantha's brow. I did not mean to strike her speechless, but she allowed me to place it upon her, and under the starlight, the diamonds, glittering like their larger brethren in the night sky above, created a halo of their own around her head. Visions can come true, and love binds sisters tighter then blood.

Then with the dawn there were some celebrations. It was good to see my first employer, Gebarius, again. He is as old and full of life as ever, as far as I can see. I believe that Rihana has asked him to assist Triana and Smaki in governing our estates. Or should I say Rihana and Whit's estates. Rihana told me in a conversational tone that she was becoming a devotee of Maeve, a local goddess of this region. And in the same breath she excitedly told me that Whit had asked her for her hand in marriage. Previously I had writ that I wondered when Rihana would attempt to permanently affix herself to a group member, and I fear that this might spell disaster for all of us. Of course, I politely congratulated her in our tradition, wishing her water, health, home, and holiness under the Light. I did not offer her shelter under my Roof, since currently I am as much a wanderer as she.

Whit wants the title of the Barony as badly as Rihana does, and although she is positively excited over the prospect of marriage, I do not understand how she can so easily take such a political step and bind it with a happy marriage. I wonder what confusing complications this joint Barony will bring us into. I am sure she has contemplated all of this, but it still surprises me that she becomes to dreamy-eyed when talking about her marriage with Whit. Perhaps it is her youth that blinds her still. Of course she is far more experienced in the world with some matters then I, but after some of her more lively descriptions, I have resigned myself to continued blissful ignorance. I still blush when I think of her frank discussions about the subject matter of some of the bawdier tavern songs she sometimes sings. How did I know that a few innocent questions would lead to her describing her planned wedding night with Whit? I sincerely hope he survives.

I am sure to be invited under her roof in all fair hospitality, but honestly, I do not want any titles. Lady of Whitelock, as our house name has been chosen, is all fair and good, but the responsibilities of land ownership, and the dreary paperwork associated with such, is something that I have only the most rudimentary knowledge about, just enough to pass myself off in conversation and disguise as a member of the Landed. And now I am. I have had worse nightmares, surely, but this is real and will not go away.

Thea has suggested that we pick plots of land adjacent to one another, encompassing an area of the former Abrantier land that is riddled with lakes, valleys, and springs. I believe I might find a part of peace there, in the wilderness, and I believe wilderness it shall stay. The Book of Fate spoke of my future, of a tall iron tower with no windows and no apparent entrances. Perhaps it is meant that I shall build it there, in the land of springs and dales. Or perhaps I will grant it all of my land to Thea secretly. Surely she knows more of this then I do. We both keep our secrets close to our breasts, but at least I can unwind and laugh around her, drinking cold water and playing children's games.